Hooked on D Major
by Fallende
Summary: Castiel Novak is sick of being second to his crazy twin brother, Jimmy. At least Dean Winchester is learning who he is now that his best friend has gone off to the hospital.
1. Chapter 1

How Castiel Novak had ended up at Singer Auto Garage was a long story.

He, a 17 year old teenager currently on summer break, had accuired a job at a locally owned grocery store. While he hated the job with a burning passion, it brought in the dough. And Castiel was in desperate need for money to blow.

So yes, Castiel hated his job, but as it was his first he knew he couldn't be picky. This, of course, didn't mean he couldn't complain at every chance he got. He whined to his best friend, Chuck, at every chance he got: about his bitchy supervisor, about the heavy boxes he had to lift, about the stupid customers he had to assist. While he knew that 90 percent of the time Chuck wasn't listening because he was high, Castiel still appreciated the audience.

Some people might be shocked to hear that he and Chuck, the nerdiest kids in the school, used to be druggies. It was true, though. Once, Chuck had spent 3000 dollars off his parent's credit card on prostitutes for them, claiming that his hazed state had predicted the apocyalypse. They agreed the next morning to never mention that moment, nor the fact that for some reason, neither of them had slept with the girls.

That was a year ago though and while now Castiel avoided marijuana, Chuck still smoked whenever his blue eyed friend brought up his job. That kid could vent when he wanted to.

So it was on one of these particularly awful days at work when Castiel's car had been wrecked. His supervisor had started him on a new set of boxes: a job that would take an hour and a half when Castiel's shift would be over in half that time. He was grumbling about this, unhappy at having to put in the extra time, when a particularly loud crunch was heard from the lot behind him.

He and Ruby, the snarky girl unloading the stock truck, had instantly lifted away the plastic protecting the doorway to freedom and peeked outside. There, one of the teenagers younger than Castiel was grimacing, his hand awkwardly rubbing the back of his head. The machine he was driving with all the carts back to the front of the store was crushed gloriously into the side of a car.

It took a few moments before the dark haired boy had realized that the blue 2000 Ford Taurus was, infact, his. Both doors on the passenger side had been destroyed in the collision. Castiel had simply groaned, too put off to even deal with this new platter of metaphorical shit, and clocked off of work. Stock be damned. Ruby had giggled a little on the way out, asking him how he planned on getting to work tomorrow. He told her he didn't.

It was once he got home and buried his face in his pillow that he realized he probably should have asked the young teenager for his auto insurance. Or looked at company policy or whatever.

He'd called into work the next day and quit. His supervisor had been surprisingly understanding: either she understood his upset feelings that his car had been totaled on company property, or her drugs were working for her today. Either way, Castiel despaired breifly at his lack of income and then set to work on finding a place that would fix the doors of his car.

Micheal, Castiel's older brother, had suggested the place to him. Singers Auto Garage was a little run down and slightly farther than Castiel deemed safe driving in his newly crumpled car. However, it was the only place in the area that did body repair and Castiel knew he had no other choice. These guys could charge as much as they wanted to because they had a monopoly, and Castiel would have no choice but to comply. He only wished this didn't dig too far into his savings.

Cut to where he was now. With a weary sigh, the blue eyed teenager walked through the dirt and sand lot and pushed through the double doors leading inside. He was instantly assaulted with air conditioning, something he was incredibly greatful for.

He was also visually assualted by the visage of a man, dirty and muscular tilting his head back and drinking a water bottle, his adams apple bobbing erotically with each gulp. Castiel regognized this man immediately- it was the only man, woman, or human being in general that the adolescent had ever found himself attracted to.

Dean Winchester. His childhood crush, of whom he'd been pining over since he was 10 years old. The dreams he'd had, while occuring quite a bit less frequently in recent years, still haunted Castiel with sea green eyes and short dirty blonde, almost brown hair. Castiel instantly regretted Mike's advice on coming here.

Dean finished off his last few sips of water, a satisfied sound escaping his lips. He then turned around, about to say his usual greeting when he stopped cold. "...Jimmy?" He asked, almost hesitantly. Castiel instantly froze. Dean Winchester didn't even know who he _was_. Talk about offending and a blow to his self pride.

Their eyes met and they stared at eachother for an indefinate amount of time, Dean looking rapidly for something he couldn't find. An old friend, perhaps. Castiel bitterly thought that he was looking in the wrong eyes. They were broken from their lock by the sound of a gasp. Castiel turned towards the sound and saw a young boy, probably about 3 years younger yet somehow as tall as he was. "You're Castiel Novak, aren't you?" The boy questioned eagerly, seeming immensely interested and almost desperate for an answer. Castiel's mind breifly put name to face; _Sam_. Dean's younger brother. The blue eyed boy nodded at Sam, whose face lit up in fascination.

He turned his eyes back to the older brother, whose eyebrows were furrowed together in confusion. "You're not still playing that game, are you man?" Dean asked, perhaps demanded. Castiel scowled, feeling even more insulted than he already was. He was sick of people asking about this.

He opened his mouth, about to tell Dean off, but no words came out. Was he really this damn shy?

Luckily, Sam clarified things a little bit for him. "Castiel's not made up, you know. He's Jimmy's twin brother." Castiel directed his eyes at the floor and scowled even deeper. _Made up_. "Honestly, you think you'd know that about your own best friend." Sam finsihed, admonishing his brother. Dean threw a _bitch_ at the kid, to which Sam instantly responded with _jerk_, and then Sam was gone, clearly sensing Castiel's discomfort.

Dean watched his brother leave and then smiled awkwardly at Castiel, shrugging his shoulders slightly. "Sorry about that. Bobby always warned me about being rude to the customers." He chuckled a little. _That was more than rude, _Castiel chided, hating Dean just a little at that moment. Sam, too.

Before Castiel could stop himself, he spit out, "My brother's still in the hospital." Dean looked a little dismayed at the news, but tried to cover it up. Of course, nobody should be more upset about this than Castiel. Yet the teen couldn't find it in himself to be worried about his twin. Just angry.

"So, um." Dean shuffled forward, grabbing a clipboard and a pencil from the front counter and handing them over to the other near the doorway. "What are you in for?"

Castiel took the proffered paperwork and started to fill it out. Anything to take his mind off the hurt; both directed towards his brother and towards Dean who hadn't even known he'd actually existed. "Someone ran into my car." He supplied, his voice deep and gravely. It didn't used to be that way. Castiel wondered vaguely if it was from the stress or the cigarettes. "I've got two dented doors, one that won't shut."

"Sheesh." Dean grimmaced. He didn't pry and ask how, though, something the darker haired boy was thankful for. "Well, we'll look at the model of your car and order the parts for you. In the meantime, Bobby and I can pull off the doors so you can drive it without them flapping in the wind. If we order the doors tonight, we can get them in about two weeks. Until then, your car will be temporarily fixed by tomorrow." Castiel finished filling out the form and walked over to hand it back to Dean, along with the keys to his car. Their hands brushed breifly between the exchange, and Castiel hoped Dean didn't feel the same jolt of electricity he felt from the contact. The blonde man studied the paperwork for a minute before he looked up, sending a smile his way. "Alright, I'll see you tomorrow then."

Castiel tried not to dwell on the fact that he'd provided an _I _instead of a _we _on the way to the nearest bus stop. After a few minutes of sitting on the dirty bench, the bus pulled up and Castiel dropped some coins into the fee box. He took a seat near the back, across from a sleeping business man and a middle aged woman who was crocheting.

As he hopped buses for the next hour and a half, trying to get home, Castiel couldn't help his mind wandering back to Jimmy. He'd resented his twin brother for the past 7 years, but before that they had been really close. As much as Castiel missed the old days, he knew he'd grown to hate the other. If Jimmy ever got out of the hospital, Castiel never wanted to know. It was selfish and extremely barbaric of him, and the bible told him he should forgive his brother because it wasn't his _fault_, not really. But after what had happened, Castiel wasn't sure if even Jimmy qualified for forgiveness. Castiel's life had been practically non-existant, an anomaly, to almost everyone outside of the family since Jimmy had changed.

When Castiel finally walked up the broken driveway to their house, he'd marched instantly up to his room without a word to Micheal, who'd called to ask about his car situation. He pulled his shirt over his head and plopped down on his bed, resigning himself to a night at staring up at the ceiling. It'd been so long since anyone had broght up Jimmy in his presence. It had been even longer since someone who wasn't new to town had mistaked him for the other. And it had been years, several, since Castiel had thought about the brotherly kinmanship he'd once had with his twin. He'd hated Jimmy for so long. Would always hate him a little bit, probably.

And then he wondered distantly if Dean Winchester would ever see him as anyone other than the crazy halucination of his once best friend.

* * *

**A/N: **First of all, disclaimer: Supernatural belongs to Eric Kripke.  
Second of all, any readers should know that I have never - not once with either my old account or my current - completed a chapter story. But there will be more of this, for the moment.  
Thirdly, thanks for reading. That is all.


	2. Chapter 2

Castiel woke up in the early afternoon the next day, took a shower and then went downstairs to make himself some toast. Micheal was sat at the kitchen table reading the newspaper. His reading glasses slid down his nose as he looked over at his youngest brother. Castiel grunted a hello, realizing that it was a Saturday and cursing his luck that Micheal would be home. As much as Castiel loved him, he hated the nagging.

"Wash your hands." Micheal said just as Castiel was reaching to open the refrigerator. He grumbled under his breath about having just taken a shower, but walked over the the faucet to wash up anyways. "So," Micheal continued, turning his face back down to the newspaper but continuing his talk anyways, "those doors are going to be expensive. How were you planning to pay for them?"

Castiel sighed and reached for the soap. "I was hoping the company would pay for it."

"I looked into that for you." His blonde haired brother answered. Ever the do-gooder. What a saint. "Since you're only a customer now, they pay 3 quarters damage. If you were an employee, they'd pay full damages." Fuck. That smug supervisor bitch. "I guess it has to do with time there and risk of accident." Castiel turned off the sink and reached for a hand towel dejectedly. Micheal sighed heavily. "Listen, Castiel..." He started, sounding sympathetic. "I'll pay for for it."

Castiel's head snapped towards his brother, whose nose was still buried in the paper. "Really?" He questioned incredulously, raising an eyebrow in disbelief. "You'd do that for me?" Castiel had never really been a bad kid, but he'd never been a good kid, either. While him and Micheal never got into fights, Castiel still rebelled slightly. Never as much as the others, but... he smoked and drank, and he dropped out on quite a bit of Micheal's charity business. Heck, he'd stopped going to church except on holidays, but Micheal still went religiously twice a week. Micheal shouldn't be going out of his way to do Castiel a favor. There had to be a catch.

"Yes." Micheal said, more resolution to his voice than before. "...If you quit smoking."

Ahh, there it was. Castiel cringed. Tobacco and nicotine seemed to be the only things keeping him sane these days, since he'd given up weed and stopped binge drinking. He still got drunk, but only on occasion. Cigarettes were always there for him, though.

As he thought about it though, it wasn't like he could afford to say no. Micheal would be saving him a huge cut of his savings fund, and really, since he no longer had an income cigarettes would start depleting his fund, too. Castiel took a deep breath, readying himself, and said, "...Alright."

Micheal finally put down the newspaper and beamed up at his brother across the room. "I'll pick up nicotine gum for you, too. And those mint toothpicks for when you get shaky. Next time I go out." He promised. "But you have to promise me it'll work this time. You have to see this through." Castiel thought back to the last time Micheal had tried to get him to give up smoking. Castiel hadn't really gone out of his way to hide it when he started 3 years ago, and when Micheal found him casually leaning on the fence out back with a stick in his mouth, he'd told the father of their church. Father Matthews had come to the house, offering a program that would help Castiel get over his 'addiction'. Of course it didn't work, because most of it involved finding the source of distress that caused the smoking and Castiel found the whole business to be a load of bullshit. He'd do this, though. No half assing it. If not for the money, than for himself. He'd been trying to clean up his act recently, anyways.

"The gum would be helpful." Castiel admitted. "I'll..." He faltered. "I'll do it."

No longer wanting to be around his brother, Castiel grabbed a single peice of bread out of the refrigerator and took his leave. He walked out of the house and pulled out his cell phone. It was a cheap thing and completely prepaid, because Castiel was poor and didn't want to spend money on a contract. He flipped it open and scrolled through his contacts, instantly finding another of his brothers' and pressing _send_. It rang twice before a chipper voice answered. "Gabriel." Castiel said simply.

"Cassy! My favorite brother! What can I do for you?" Gabriel asked excitedly. It'd been about a week since they last talked, and if Castiel didn't talk to his other brother on a regular basis, Gabriel would whine of 'seperation anxiety'.

Castiel continued walking towards the end of his street, and made a right down a main road. "I'll be at your apartment in about 10 minutes. I need you to drive me to Singer's so I can pick up my car." Gabriel lived with the last and most rebellious of Castiel's several brothers, Lucifer. After a big fight with Micheal, Lucifer had walked out only days after turning 18. Gabriel had gone to follow him a few years later. Castiel missed them greatly, and being left alone with an uptight brother like Micheal was not something that he really enjoyed, but he understood why his brothers had chosen to leave. Castiel might have actually fallen suit with them, but he tolerated Micheal enough that he didn't want to hurt him by walking out like the others. And it wasn't like they had gone far - Lucifer had chosen the cheapest apartment in the area, which only happened to be a 15 minutes walk or a 4 minutes drive away. Castiel was welcome over there whenever he liked (which he'd taken avantage of on several drunken occasions).

The dark haired boy truged through the streets towards the apartment. It was drizzling slightly, which dampened Castiel's trench coat but did little to dampen his already-low spirits. As much as he had daydreamed of just talking with Dean, he actually found he was dreading having to do it again. He'd always been socially awkward and never had more than 2 friends - Chuck, another socially awkward kid who he'd met a few years ago, and his cousin Anna, who didn't really count. He wasn't really sure what Dean thought of him, but it probably wasn't as high as Castiel thought of Dean. Just thinking about it made him depressed.

Before Castiel knew it, he was riding the elevator up to the fifth floor and knocking on the firmiliar wooden door of room 503. His brother opened it, smiling broadly at him (he was a few inches taller than Castiel was, and 2 years his senior) and enveloping him in a hug. "Cassy! So we're going to go stalk Dean Winchester then?" He cried, making Castiel blush a deep shade of red. He'd forgotten that Dean and Gabriel had become friends at school during their high school years when Gabriel had pulled a rather lame prank on the other. Castiel had also forgotten that Gabriel had figured out his crush.

"Some ugly preteen hit my car, I had to take it somewhere that did body work." Castiel grumbled awkwardly into his older brother's shirt. "Singer's was the only place I could take it."

"Oooh, body work!" Gabriel intoned, pushing Castiel back slightly by his forearms and waggling his eyebrows suggestively. The blue eyed teen scoffed, rolling his eyes.

The drive there had been spent with bad pop music and Gabriel making some rather crude jokes, which Castiel tried his hardest to ignore. Once a particular Ke$ha song came on, his brother had insisted they open their windows wide and blast the stuff. His brother even tried to accompany the singing, which was earshattering. After a long, agonizing drive, they ended up at the equally as agonizing auto shop. Castiel got out of the car.

His shoes crunched, once again, across the dirt lot to the front door. He pushed it open, and found Dean sitting on a bench to his left, polishing some kind of metal tubing with a cloth. He looked up at Castiel and smiled, which turned into a full on grin when he saw the brother tagging along behind him. "Hey Cas, Gabe!" He greeted with a wave.

Castiel flinched. Nobody but Gabriel called him by a nickname. It was so personal, so... endearing, that hearing it come from Dean's voice was extremely weird. In a good way. He suddenly felt tingly.

Gabriel seemed to have noticed, because he looked down at his shorter brother and smirked. "I heard my bro broke the law and got smashed!" He exclaimed, spreading his arms out wide. "Cassy, you badass you! And running from the cops too!" Once again, Castiel found himself being hugged tightly by his older brother.

Dean's green eyes widened and he looked over at Castiel with doubt. "Naw way. I turned that car on to check the oil level and heard freaking classical music." Gabriel busted up laughing. Castiel narrowed his eyes and looked at the wall to their left. It was scientifically proven that Mozart raised your IQ before tests, he just wanted to do good in school. "So anyways, I switched that out and popped some AC/DC into your casette player for 'ya." Dean winked at Cas and sent him a thumbs up. Castiel almost snorted. Dean was acting like he'd just done Castiel the biggest favor.

He studied a public service announcement on the bulliten board. 'No smoking indoors'. Great, as if he hadn't already wanted a cigarette. His hands fumbled in the pockets of his trench coat. He pulled the tobacco sticks out and almost shook one loose before remembering his promise to Micheal. Gingerly, he took the box over to the trashcan and tossed it.

Dean noticed, but said nothing. Instead, he tossed the keys to Castiel's car over, which Castiel only barely managed to catch, and picked their bill up off the front desk. "After labor, oil, and parts, you're running almost $1800 here." He said, pointing to the total and showing them the recipt for the car doors. Castiel leaned over slightly to look, close enough to smell Dean's cologne. He wondered if perhaps he was invading the other's personal space, something Chuck had once told him he did quite frequently.

Gabriel snatched the bill out of his hands and grabbed Castiel's sholders, pushing him back and stepping forward into his place. "Well that's great to know. But there's actually places we gotta go. People to see, errands to run." No they didn't. Gabriel's social life recently consisted mostly of work, and he was not one to run errands. "Here's Cassy's number." He handed Dean a small slip of paper. Castiel almost protested but stopped himself short. "Call him when you get the stuff. Or for a date. Whatever." And with that remark, his brother was dragging him out the door, leaving a confused Dean inside.

"Jeez, the sexual tension in there was driving me nuts!" Gabriel exclaimed loudly, making Castiel blush once again and he sat down in his now half-plastic car. He shouldn't have asked Gabriel for a ride. His brother always managed to make already awkward situations even worse.

Frustrated, he reached into his pockets for a cigarette.

Damn.

* * *

**A/N:** Hey dudes. Second chapter. Yay.  
Wrote this listening to 'Paradise on E" by BOUNC3 on loop for 2 hours. Hell yeah.


	3. Chapter 3

Castiel had been introduced to heroin at the age of 10. Of course he was terrified of it, and to this day he still swears he'll never do anything more hardcore than marijuana. Though Chuck's dealer had sold them the stuff and some LSD for cheap before (trying to get it outta his stock because of a cop's suspicion) Castiel had refused to try it. Just being exposed to it had kicked up Castiel's resolve to renew his life; the same day he'd stopped smoking weed. He'd also decided to cut back on the drinking, and had found in the next few clean weeks that his psyche was clearer and he felt less slugish during the day.

Castiel even felt marginally less depressed. While at first the drugs had taken away his negative emotions, the addiction and general feeling of worthlessness had doubled over time. Now, his increased focus at school and happier attitude actually left him looking forward to college after his last year at high school.

Drugs didn't take away what his brothers had done, just kept his mind off of it. He was determined to stop Jimmy from infecting his life so much on his own.

His older brother Lucifer, who at the time was 16, was throwing a fit. Gabirel had put thumb tacks on his classmates' seats, and since the office couldn't get a hold of Micheal, who'd been off doing work at the church, Lucifer had been called down to deal with discipline. Gabriel had gotten off easy because Lucifer secretly appreciated the joke, so when Gabriel had come home jumpy and eating a chocolate bar, Micheal had sent him to his room.

Gabriel had shrugged it off, climbing the stairs with not a single dent in his attitude. Micheal had then spent the evening arguing with Lucifer. There was much yelling, and Castiel and Jimmy had shied back into the living room. Not even the TV could drown out their voices.

In the end, Lucifer had been sent out of the house, and a frightened Castiel ran after him. Micheal had a tendency to snap at unrelated parties after fights with his brothers, and Castiel did not want to be the brunt of that attack.

His blonde brother had not minded, infact seemed to enjoy the company. He'd smirked down at Castiel and taken him down to the rustier part of town. Sitting on top of a dumpster on the side of an old coffee shop, Lucifer had pulled his backpack into his lap and pulled out a liquid and a syringe. Castiel, being a kid, had shuffled away from the needle, and had gasped loudly at how easily his brother had inserted it into his arm.

Castiel had spent some 20 minutes shifting awkwardly next to his brother, who somehow seemed content despite their dirty surroundings. "You're a good kid, Castiel." He'd said groggily. Castiel looked over and found the older teen slumped against the brick wall of the shop. His eyes were half-lidded and he seemed about to fall asleep. Castiel was a little scared. "You won't stay that way. Once you grow up a little you'll realize how full of shit Micheal is." Lucifer hesitated for a second before throwing out, "I wish he was dead."

This struck Castiel hard. He'd known Luke was angry and violent, but he'd never thought he'd wish something like that upon family. Figuring it was the drug, Castiel worriedly picked up his brother's arm and found quite a few bruises. Slightly more perturbed, he searched for the most recent puncture and found it just below his brother's elbow. It was dark, nearly black, and a small bead of blood had dried out around it.

Sickened, Castiel let go of his brothers arm and started to tremble. He felt tears prickling his eyes, so turned his body away from his brother. Lucifer watched him, slightly sorrowful. Castiel was certain he'd sensed his brother reaching his hand out, about to comfort his crying sibling. But he never felt contact.

They'd gone home an hour later, Lucifer storming up to his room at Micheal's protests. When Castiel had entered the kitchen, Jimmy was being lectured by their oldest brother. Not wanting in, Castiel sent a silent appology to his brother and ducked back out of the house.

Most houses on his street were preparing to start their dinner, and the sun was starting to sink into the horizon. It was autumn and getting chillier as the night came, so Castiel wrapped the sweater he'd worn to school tighter around his body. He'd headed to the park on the next street over. Not many people went there as most of the neighborhood had grown up, and that's why the dark haired child had chosen it. Jimmy knew he frequented the park, and would probably join him soon.

Once there, Castiel took a seat on a bench and sighed deeply. His stomach was growling and he hadn't eaten anything but an apple at his lunch hour. Jimmy had as usual snagged his chips and sandwhich. Right now Castiel was wishing he'd actually had a bigger appetite.

Surprisingly, Castiel found he wasn't the only person in the park today. He was hoping for some alone time, but it appeared that wouldn't happen. A very young kid, a few years younger than he was, was walking his way and smiling brightly. Castiel idly wondered where this kid's parents were. He and Jimmy had just barely turned old enough to go out on their own; this child was much too young to be out and about at this hour.

The child had shaggy brown hair, covering his ears and the top of his eyes. He was a little scrawny, but then again, so was Castiel. "I'm Sam." The boy said, sitting down on the bench Castiel had claimed minutes ago. The wood protested loudly at the extra weight and Castiel considered getting off.

"I'm Castiel. Where are your parents?" He'd gone straight to the point, in order to get this kid home as soon as possible.

The boy's expression sank and he visibly deflated. His green eyes flashed. "My mom died in a fire when I was a baby. My dad drinks."

Oh. Way to go, jackass. "My mom's dead, too." Castiel supplied, if only to diffuse the tension. "My dad left 2 years ago. It just me and my brothers."

"I've got a brother!" The kid exclaimed, jumping slightly in his seat. The bench squealed again, and Castiel hoped desperately that it wouldn't break. "Everyone thinks he's really cool, but I think he's kinda annoying. Guess he's gotta be though, since he has to take care of me since my dad won't." What a mature child. Castiel understood now why this brother had trusted Sam to be alone. "So I guess it is kinda cool of him. He's buying groceries right now, and then we're going home to eat spagetti-o's."

Castiel was going home to eat liver with potatoes and asparagus. He wasn't even sure what a spagetti-o was. Rolled pasta noodles in marinara sauce? He shook his head. "Sounds complicated."

"Not really. You just scoop them out of the can and heat them. They're really good!" That was all? Sounded unhealthy. Castiel wasn't sure he wanted to try them.

He squinted his eyes slightly and saw a hooded figure walking towards them, bags in hand. "Is that your brother?" He asked. Sam _mm-hmm_'ed an affirmative to his left, and Castiel tilted his head, trying to get a better view of the boy. He was about his age but definately taller, and while Castiel couldn't make out the other's hair, the eyes struck him. They were the most brilliant shade of green he'd ever seen. He blinked once, twice. The color was still there. Castiel couldn't take his own eyes off them.

The other finally approached them, and Sam ran over to meet halfway. He handed one of the bags to his younger brother, which Sam took eagerly. Castiel stayed on the bench. They came to him, instead.

"Do you wanna eat spagetti-o's with us?" Sam asked, and Castiel and the other boy furrowed their brows. It was a little straightforward, and besdies, Castiel was still a stranger to them. He shook his head no, and Sam didn't seem to take it personally.

"I'm Dean." The older boy said, shifting slightly to get a more comfortable hold on his groceries. He waited for Castiel to give his own name, but when no attempt was made, Dean continuted on. "Uh, thanks for looking after Sammy. I was hoping he'd be okay alone, but I guess he gets a little lonely sometimes." Still, Castiel didn't talk. Dean looked confused by his silence but it didn't stop his own mouth from moving. "It's getting kinda dark, you should probably go home soon. Do you need me to walk you there? I know this town can get a little rowdy at night." Castiel didn't need an escort. He was 10, double digits! He wasn't a child anymore and he didn't appreciate being treated like one. Roughly, he shook his head no.

"Oh. Well, alright then. Stay safe, I guess." Dean had said finally. "Alright Sammy, let's have dinner!" They walked off to the other side of the park, and Castiel got up from his bench. He turned in the opposite direction, ready to head home. Jimmy's lecture was probably done, and if he wasn't going to meet Castiel here than Castiel would just get the details at home.

As he was walking up his driveway, he noticed a crack in the cement and thought vaguely that when winter froze it over, their driveway would be worse.

After sneaking past Micheal, who was angirly stirring potatoes around in a frying pan, Castiel went back into his shared room. Jimmy greeted him with a soft 'hello', obviously still upset by what had happened.

Castiel walked over to his brother and put a hand on his lap, trying to soothe him. Jimmy didn't seem to notice. "An angel's watching over me." He said quietly, but Castiel didn't miss it. He grunted confirmation - angels were watching over everybody. "He says... he's going to protect my family." Well that was nice to know. Castiel sighed and removed his sweater, tossing it onto the furnace so it would be warm when he next put it on.

When they all went down to eat dinner together, something Micheal insisted they do as a family, Castiel smiled as he thought of Dean's forest green eyes. He realized how caring it had been of Dean to offer to take him home, and Castiel felt a bit like a jerk at that moment. He cursed his quiet nature while he stabbed at the potatoes on his plate. Though he was quite hungry before, he didn't feel much so anymore.

He promised to appologize if he ever saw Dean again.

* * *

**A/N:** I'm awful at editing my own chapters. I'm sorry for typos I'm sure I've made.  
Anyways, my bro wasn't home last night so I got 2 chapters done, which is good because today I went shooting and didn't have time to write another. Yay for coincidences!


	4. Chapter 4

The next week had been awful for Castiel. The blue eyed teenager had spent nearly all of it curled up miserably in his blankets. He twitched, a lot, and Gabriel had barged into his room more than once to make sure he wasn't dead. Castiel had to throw a pillow over his ears during those times.

He'd snapped at Micheal whenever his older brother would come up. He'd knock on the door for the stupidest of reasons. Castiel knew it was to make sure he was alright, but he was sick of being asked when the last time he ate was.

The craving for cigarettes was almost unbearable. Castiel had read online that the best way to reduce these cravings was to occupy your mind with something else. So Castiel had chosen to occupy his time with Dean. The recent encounters had thrown Castiel's emotions for a loop; he was so annoyed with Dean and yet he wanted him so, so badly. He'd wake up sweaty, and he would've assumed it was because of withdrawl if it wasn't for the other's name raised on his lips. Afternoons after he'd awoken were the only time Castiel left his bedroom, to take a cold shower and grab some food while Mike was away.

It was usually after he'd eaten when the urge to smoke would well up. He'd be chewing on some leftover lasagna when he'd imagine the taste of tobacco. And then automatically his fingers would twitch and he'd raise his hand to his mouth, as if taking a drag.

Before he went to bed at night, he'd cough, raspy and dull. The internet had also told him that was toxins escaping his body. Thank God for the internet.

8 days after quiting, Castiel had decided he'd gone stir-crazy enough and it was time to leave the house. So, donning a cuffed white shirt and a pair of nice pants, he grabbed his trench coat and shoes and went to his car.

It was almost 9 pm on a Thursday and the nightcrawlers were starting to come out of their holes. Though the sun was no longer shining, it was still mid-summer and his car was stuffy. Unfortunately, the plastic covering the opposite side of his vehicle made air conditioner ineffective. He considered taking off his coat. He got plenty of weird looks when he wore it around in the summer. But the trench coat had belonged to his father, and Castiel had worn it for so long that it was now an essential part of his person.

Though it had been long enough since his last smoke, Castiel was still just as desperate to have one. Instead, he opted for alcohol and headed to a new bar. Usually he accquired alcohol from Lucifer, because he was underage and his brothers (excluding Mike) simply didn't care. Tonight, though, he wasn't interested in seeing his brothers. So he went to one of the few bars he knew of in passing.

The Roadhouse was small and probably not very well known, but that's why Castiel had chosen it. Luke had made him a fake ID a few months ago, but he still didn't want to take the chance of running into anyone who might have known him. That would destroy all chances of getting drunk.

He'd decided it was a bad idea to go in there shortly after sitting down at the bar. For more than one reason.

First of all, a pair of burly men were sat at a table just across the way. They were one of the few customers in the building, making them easy to notice. One of them was offering a pakcet of marlboro to the other, and Castiel instantly felt thunderstuck with longing. Jesus friggin _Christ_ he wanted a cigarette, and Castiel wasn't one to use that name in vain. A short, blonde girl who Castiel assumed would probably be attractive if he wasn't basically asexual had shouted at them, "No smoking indoors!" and suddenly Castiel felt extremely, extremely nerveshot. He could practically _smell_ the lingering tobacco in the air.

Secondly, and he noticed this a fraction of a second too late, he recognized the bar tender.

_Oh God no_.

Didn't Dean Winchester work at Singers? What was he doing at the Roadhouse, the night shift? Was he really that desperate for cash? Was it even legal for him to be serving alcohol at that age? But Dean had noticed him, he'd looked up and his eyes had instantly lit up as he sauntered over to where Castiel was. Dammit. Castiel was twitchy, nervous, and desperate for cigarettes and Dean was going to witness all of it.

"Hey, Cas!" He lifted his arm in a small wave as he came closer. "Funny thing - I was actually going to call you tonight, seeing as this place is practically dead and me and Jo are basically bored out of our mind." He was smiling, and Castiel probably would have commented about how attractive that smile was if the word 'cigarette' wasn't running through his head. That was all he could think about, wasn't it? This was bad.

"Dean." He said. He could use this to his advantage. His voice was rough from disuse and low with want - for nicotine. "You have to give me alcohol. I'll pay whatever you want. But I swear vodka is the _only _thing that's going to keep me from stealing that man's cigarettes right now." His feet were knocking against the stool's leg and he kicked it hard, hoping any amount of pain would distract him for just a second.

"You're quitting, right?" Dean asked, reaching down to pull out 2 shot glasses and a bottle of vodka. Castiel grunted. How did he know that?" "I saw you throwing that box out at Bobby's shop. You had this look on your face like you were abandoning your lifeline." Ahh, right. Dean already knew he was a pathetic man stuck on drugs. At least he was showing pity with the overfilled shots. Castiel downed one of the shots and grimaced. This wasn't helping at all - the burn in his throat was too reminiscent of something else and Castiel found himself wanting even more. Going out was a bad idea. He'd just given himself an excuse to run to the drugstore on the way home. _I'm going to fail_, He thought. _I barely lasted a week and now I'm going to have to fork over a quarter of my savings fund and deal with Micheal's disappointment_.

He grabbed the other shot and knocked it back. Then he placed his hand flat on the bar table and stood up. "Just one." He mumbled to himself, taking a step towards the other table. "It's probably better to wind down slowly, anyways. Stopping abruptly can't be good."

Dean had heard though. He was close enough, and now he was jogging around the bar table to put a hand on Castiel's chest, efectively stopping the advance. "Whoa, man. Not a good idea. You've got a pretty decent streak by now, right? Why ruin that?"

"I need it. Oh my god, I need it so bad." He'd said it so passionately, Dean flushed a little. That came out kind of kinky sounding, didn't it? He grabbed Dean's hand to push it away, and felt another jolt of electicity. He saw Dean flush some more out of the corner of his eye, but chose to ignore it in pursuit of a more preferrable object at the moment. _Cigarettes cigarettes cigarettes oh God I need a smoke..._

Castiel had let go of Dean's hand but the other had snatched it right back up again. He pulled the shorter teenager backwards slightly and said forcefully, "No. That shit destroys your lungs, man." Castiel didn't care, didn't Dean get that? He just wanted the relief. Right. Fucking. Now.

Dean was unsurprisingly strong though, and after telling the blonde waitress from before to keep an eye on the place, he dragged Castiel outside. Then he'd lead the way down the street, stopping at a diner and pulling Castiel inside. It was cooler in here, and Castiel found that actually helped calm him down a bit. Marginally, but it was soothing enough that he didn't care as long as something helped him. The place was set like the old 80's, with neon lights and stools and a large menu consisting mostly of burgers and milkshakes. Perhaps ice cream would help him.

His partner for the night had chosen a seat towards the front, and while normally Castiel would have protested he was actually kind of grateful for that. The place was more busy than the Roadhouse and it provided several interactions and distractions. The darker haired man had actually found his mind consisting of thoughts other than tobacco, and he looked directly at his lighter haired companion. Dean was scanning the menu, and when he found what he was looking for he put the plastic down. "Hey, since you owe me for that vodka you're paying this." It was stated so simply and left no room for argument, so Castiel nodded his consent.

Dean had made casual one-sided conversation after that. He talked mostly of his younger brother, Sam. "I'm actually saving money for him. 'S why I have 2 jobs, Bobby's pays the bills, and Ellen's pays for Sammy's college. He says he wants to study law; and I know that's gonna cost a good chunk but I know he can do it. He's so nerdy like that. Poor kid probably won't have a social life with all the studying he'll be doing."

Sounded a lot like Castiel. No social life and a dedication to school. He didn't mention this out loud.

"I actually wanted to say sorry. About... you know. That meeting a week and a half ago. I didn't mean to call you Jimmy it's just... He always said Castiel was an angel and I've never actually seen you around before. Where were you all those times I came over?" Jeez, Dean sounded like word salad. Castiel had just made that up but it fit so perfectly. The last question hadn't even registered. "It... I thought Gabriel was my only connection left with Jimmy, you know? After what happened."

The waitress came by and asked them what they wanted to order. Castiel got a chocolate milkshake and a croissant, Dean asked for a bacon cheeseburger with extra ketchup and a side of fries with coke. The shorter teenager still desired a smoke, but Dean's constant banter was kind of drowning that out. It was... refreshing. As if Castiel hadn't already fall for him enough.

As the waitress was walking away, Dean leaned over to look at her ass. Castiel pretended he hadn't noticed. Dean jerked a thumb in her direction and gave Castiel a wink... urgh. Castiel squinted his eyes and continued to say nothing.

"You know, you don't talk a lot." Dean had seemed happy enough rambling on, did it matter? "The fact that the only things I've heard you say tonight were ordering food and making sex noises for a cigarette says a lot about you."

Castiel flushed indignantly and sputtered, "They weren't sex noises! I wasn't _moaning_!"

"You were begging like a whore." Dean pointed out, and at Castiel's incredulity had the gall to laugh at him. Oh man this was embarrassing. _Why?_ Castiel asked God, his eyes turned towards the heavens. _Why did this have to happen in front of Dean_?

He knew the tingling in his fingers wasn't from the alcohol. He'd only had a little bit, and though he knew he may be slightly tipsy it wasn't enough to have much of an effect. The prickles must have been from his compulsion to reach into his pockets. He didn't see a sign that said no smoking, and while he was doing alright before, just hearing his partner say the word reminded him of what he was mising tonight.

Dean seemed to have noticed, because he stopped laughing and smiled appologetically. "You'll get over it, dude. In a few days you'll feel right as rain."

The waitress came over with their tray of food and Castiel realized that she hadn't been gone very long. Their order must have been easy to complete. They ate in relative silence, mostly because Dean was practically french kissing his burger and Castiel was going out of his way not to stare at the other's mouth. Dean offered to share his french fries and Castiel reached over a few times to take one. He stopped, though, when he noticed that Dean was watching his hand every time he reached across. Castiel figured he'd taken too many and so layed off. He slurped the rest of his milkshake just as Dean was wiping the grease off his fingers. Dean made sure to order a piece of pie before the check was handed over, reminding Castiel that 'he owed him'. Dean asked him inbetween mouthfuls about Gabriel, and Castiel decided to humor him.

"He's doing alright financially. When you're a salesman everything depends on how much effort you put in, I suppose. At least Gabriel has a lot of energy for that." He said and Dean nodded. "Luke and him rent out on 5th street. I don't know why they chose to live so close when they wanted to get away from Mike, but I'm not sure I'll ever understand them."

"You still live on York Road, yeah?" Dean asked. Castiel was mildly disconcerted that the other knew where he lived before he remembered that Dean had been to his house before, albeit years ago. "So yeah, not that far. Perhaps we should pop in and say hi to them." Castiel pulled out his cell and looked at the time. 10:30 already, and since it was a work night Castiel wasn't sure it would be okay to stop in.

Instead he left $25 on the table for their food and tip, and the two made their way back to the car. Dean asked him if he was okay to drive. Castiel assured him that yes, he'd had enough experience with alcohol to know his limit and that no, he wasn't that much of a lightweight. Dean went back to work, and Castiel went back to his crappy car.

Before leaving, Dean told him he would talk to Castiel tomorrow. He decided not to hope too much. The other would probably forget - he'd mentioned long hours while they were eating, and Castiel didn't want Dean to waste one of his few breaks on him.

He sat in the parking lot for a long time, waiting until he knew Micheal would have gone to bed, and then turned the ignition to go home.

* * *

**A/N: **I just realized I've been having Castiel wear that trench coat in the middle of summer. Since like... the beginning. Whoops.  
So then I was like, I gotta fix this. So it's his father's old coat now. Bam.  
Jeez I hate accidental plot holes.


	5. Chapter 5

Castiel woke up slightly after 11 the next morning, which was early for teenagers who didn't have anywhere to be. He rubbed his eyes and turned over, ready to just lay there in blissful contentment for another hour or so when his phone buzzed.

He reached over to his nightstand and saw that he had 3 new text messages. Huh. Castiel didn't text much. He got several from Gabriel all the time, mostly with bad jokes or complaints, but he rarely texted back. Wondering what was wrong with his brother today, Castiel opened up the first one.

From Gabriel, in the wee hours of the morning. Shocker there. '**Herd u & dean went 4 a bite erlier. Did u kis?**' Gabriel had horrible text typing. Quickly, Castiel texted back a negative. How did Gabe even know about that? Had Dean told him?

The next one was from a number he didn't recognize, and after scanning it for something he thought firmiliar, he decided to open it anyways. It was from this morning, about 2 hours ago. '**How you feelin?**' What? Castiel didn't feel much, other than a headache. The lack of dopamine released from cigarettes recently had left him feeling much else but empty.

He ignored it and opened up the last message, from the same number. This bastard had kept him from another sleep cycle. '**The cigarettes, I mean. Unless that vodka gave you a hangovrr**'. Oh, so it was from Dean. Suddenly, Castiel felt the frustration of being kept from sleep fade away. They had promised to talk tomorrow. This was... actually kind of sweet. Dean was worrying about him.

Typing a reply took him longer than it should have. If he and Dean were gonna do this regularly, he'd have to learn how to use T9. '**Stop mentioning them**'. Seriously, it only made the cravings worse.

He set his phone back down on the nighstand and went to go find a shirt. He'd just barely lifted it over his head when his phone buzzed again. '**Sorry youre right my bad**'. Just as he finished reading the last message, his phone vibrated in his hands. Curse Dean and his fast texting magic. '**Are you doing anything sunday?**'. No, he wasn't. He texted that back.

'**Great were going to see the avengers**' Castiel was mildly frustrated with the lack of punctuation. It was important to the english language for a reason! Deciding scolding Dean for it would not go over so well, he tried brushed it off and asked what time. '**330 lawrence theater**'. Deciding that a response was no longer needed, Castiel shut his phone and tossed it on his bed. He went downstairs and ate breakfast, giving a 'Yes!' when he realized it was a Friday morning and Micheal would be at work. Then he took a shower and redressed.

When he came back to his room, he found that Dean had not deemed their conversation over. Castiel's heart felt like it was floating. '**Some middle aged dude just broght in a toyota with a smashed door. reminded me of you**'.

Castiel typed back, '**How odd.**' And slippped his phone back in his pocket. He couldn't stop the smile from spreading over his face.

'**Samantha says hi**' Who the hell was Samanta? Worried that it was a girlfriend, Castiel felt his heartbeat momentarily quicken before he realized how ridiculous that was. He'd heard the rumors in highschool - that Lisa Braeden was pregnant at 16 and Dean was worried the kid was his. It was soon found out that Dean wasn't the father - that was some unknown man out in Boston. She and Dean had apparently just had one night after a party. But as far as Castiel knew his crush was still treating the kid as if it was his own. Dean really was a good guy to her; and other than him dating her Castiel really had no reason to dislike Lisa. She was a nice enough person, and had just made the wrong decisions on who to sleep with.

So if Dean and Lisa were still dating, he really stood no chance did he? Not that he would have ever acted on his feelings. Castiel was more of one for silent brooding and longing, and was way to awkward to ever date anyone.

'**Thats Sammy btw. bitch just hit me**'. He took a deep breath and reread the message, just to be sure. What the hell was a 'btw'?

'**You deserved that. Tell Sam I said hello.**' It was about this time that Castiel realized he'd been sitting on his desk chair for 10 minutes, sending meaningless banter back and forth to Dean who was probably busy tearing doors off of cars.

'**You talk a lot more over text**'

'**Everyone's a different person when you can't see their face.**'

'**Exept you aparently cuz that sounds like something you would say**'. Yes, well. Castiel didn't try to hide himself from other people. He considered himself a fairly honest and well-rounded person.

'**Am I distracting you from work?**'

'**Yeah but all i gotta do is this door anyways. no biggie dude**'. Castiel stopped texting him anyways. Who was to say more customers wouldn't come in?

Castiel's mind drifted over to the movie they were going to see as he made himself lunch. He knew Dean's intentions were purely innocent and that of a friend, but he couldn't stop his mind from thinking it was a date. To distract himself, he steamed up some broccoli and dug out a hidden package of instant macaroni. Usually, Micheal hated having something so nutritionally empty in the house, but even he had to admit that it was nice to have something so easy to make. At least the broccoli would give him vitamins, or whatever.

After eating, Castiel decided he was going to drop in on Lucifer. His brother used to work for a bank, but was fired when they found out Luke was stealing their money. Of course, this had destroyed the other's record and he was currently finding it difficult to get work. Therefore, he'd taken up selling drugs, and was extremely satisfied with the money it was getting him. Of course, it was a nighttime job, except the occasional client who thought broad daylight was inconspicuous.

Castiel drove over to the apartment and let himself in the door when his knock went unanswered. The blonde haired man was sitting idly on his couch, counting packets of a powder spread across the coffee table. Probably cocaine. He lifted his head when he heard the door hinges creak.

"Hello, Castiel. Interested in some?" He gestured to the table. "I promise you it's top of the line."

"No thanks, Luke. You know I gave up everything outside of what's legal, and now Mike's making me give that up, too." Lucifer snorted, and Castiel knew what was running through his brother's head. He agreed, Mike was a bit of a prick.

"You can have that cigarette I know you're hungry for." His brother said, and Castiel seriously considered it. He could get away with it, here; the place reeked of every kind of drug out there and it's not like Micheal would ever be stopping by to check. But then he thought of Dean, who was rooting for him to get over this addiction, and decided against it. If it came down to Dean's friendship or smoking, Castiel knew which he would choose.

"No... I think I'm actually gonna give those up too. They cost money that I can no longer afford to spend." Lucifer snorted again, but Castiel didn't care. His brother was now dealing everything under the sun; he didn't really need the other's approval.

"If this is about your reputation at school, that's already destroyed. Everyone knows you and that Charlie kid did marijuana, meth and ecstacy." Castiel scowled but thought of Chuck. They hadn't hung out in a while; he should probably call his friend. He would do so when he got home. They had some stuff to catch up on, like the accident and his new, clean self. And Dean.

"Luke," He sighed, "I don't want to talk about drugs." He took a seat on the couch opposite his brother and gave him his most disapproving look.

"Alright, fine. Interested in some poker? Who knows, you might get some money from me." He wasn't really; Lucifer as well as Gabriel had a tendency to cheat at card games. But then again, Castiel had a really good poker face. And now that he no longer had a job his money cache would be stationary for a while.

"Sounds okay." He reached around the side of the couch to the endtable and grabbed a deck of cards. His brother dealt.

By dinner time he was out 87 dollars. Why did he always fall for this?

As Castiel was grabbing his coat to go home, Lucifer called out to him. "Hey Cassy!" He said, waving his money up in the air. Castiel turned and waited for his brother to say what was on his mind. "We got a message about Jimmy yesterday."

Castiel stiffened. His brother, not seeming to notice and/or care, leapt up and pressed 'play' on their answering machine.

"**This message is for Gabriel and Lucifer Novak, brothers of patient James Novak. Dr. Walhberg has been reporting increased signs in behavior patterns, and has deemed the patient safe to visit. James has requested to see his family. We invite you to come down to the Lawerence Mental Health Hospital and Institute of Psychology next weekend.**"

Luke sat back on his armchair and watched his brother like a hawk. Castiel's eyes spread wide and he had a look of absolute terror on his face. He had lost his balance at the beginning of the message and was now leaning heavily on the wall.

"Breathe, Cassy." Lucifer said calmly. How the heck was Lucifer so calm right now? Castiel wanted to hit him. "Mike's probably gonna try to guilt trip you into going. I just wanted you to know that you don't have to. If there's anyone who knows about hating their brother and wanting to drop all communication with them, it's me."

Castiel glared. This wasn't the same. Not by a long shot. He and Mike got into fights because Luke was an idiot with no sense of self preservation and a need to do bad with the world. Jimmy and Castiel had been together since birth.

Taking a deep breath, left without a word and slammed the door behind him.

* * *

**A/N: **I think this document manager messes with your story. Seriously, some of these typos weren't there when I read over this in Word.  
Whatever. Anyways, I think I should tell you that I stole the title for this outta my old violin book. I'm so uncreative.


	6. Chapter 6

Castiel was actually a little bit nervous about going to the movie theater. It wasn't because he was practically going on a date with the man of his dreams.

...Maybe a little bit that. But mostly, it was because his cousin, Raphael, worked there.

Castiel and his cousin used to have a mutual tolerance of each other, but in recent years it had blossomed into bitter loathing. It wasn't so much because they had clasing personalites, they actually had a lot in common. It's just that Raphael had followed the righteous path, from which Castiel had strayed. And since then Raphael had made it his goal in life to direct Castiel to the light of heaven once again; taking whatever means necessary to acheive that goal.

The last time they'd seen each other Raphael had punched Castiel in the face for refusing to go to Bible camp. Castiel had knocked him senseless in return. It was a great release of all his pent-up anger. He hoped he got to do it again sometime soon.

Castiel much preferred his cousin Balthazar, who was a bit eccentric but a generally nice fellow. The blonde haired man was from his mother's side of the family, opposite of Raphael. And was born and raised in Britain, giving him a hilariously thick accent. He was always fun to hang around with. And of course his little sister, Anna, was the best friend he'd ever had besides Chuck.

He and Dean had decided on meeting up at Castiel's house for a bite to eat before they went, because Dean knew where he lived and movie theater snacks were expensive. Castiel didn't mention that he knew the family that owned the place. He wasn't particularly comfortable with the subject of family. Castiel had cooked up some grilled cheese and fried noodles in advance, and Dean seemed very pleased with the meal. He brought up the fact that Castiel had cooked, saying it was unnecessary, but the blue eyed boy had insisted he had to cook every meal and it really was nothing big.

He hadn't thought it necessary to fix up his hair until Dean mentioned he had 'sex head'. Now he felt really self concious and tried to discreetly flatten it down. Dean had driven his Impala, and while Castiel didn't know much about cars he could certainly admire this one. It was obviously well taken care of.

He attempted to run a hand through his hair when the light turned green. Dean (who should have been looking at the road) noticed and laughed, then reached a hand over and fluffed his hair back up again.

Castiel sat there confused for a few seconds before asking why.

"Because it looks good on you." Dean answered, his eyes finally on the pavement. Castiel was glad; he was blushing.

Castiel didn't watch movies often, so he didn't know much about the movie they were seeing. Gabriel had shown him the first Iron Man one night at the apartment, but Castiel hadn't seen any of the other hero's individual movies. He was a geek enough to know who they were though, as he occasionally read comics books. Dean was making extreme exaggerations about how awesome the movie was going to be. Castiel said nothing, but sat there admiring the sound of the other's voice. Dean didn't seem to mind the lack of dialogue on his part.

They arrived at the movie theater and walked in. Unluckily for Castiel, Raphael was sitting at the ticket booth. Quickly, he tucked his head down into his trench coat and walked a few steps ahead. "Hey, get my ticket and I'll secure some seats." He said, handing Dean a $10.

He'd almost made it safely to the food courth when Rahpael saw him. "Castiel." He boomed, and Castiel stopped walking. Unable to avoid confrontation, he turned and looked up at his cousin. "You look better without a black eye."

"Yeah," Castiel replied, his voice low, "well you look better without a bloody nose."

Dean looked back and forth between them awkwardly before putting the money on the counter. "2 tickets to The Avengers, please."

"Having your boyfriend buy the tickets for you, I see. You know homosexuality's a sin." Castiel wanted to kick him so badly. For his part, Dean looked equally like he wanted to deck the black man in the face.

Castiel clenched his fists and whirled around. "Ignore him." He told Dean, who was glaring at his cousin. "You'd think someone so religious would show some semblance of kindness, but Raphael's just an all around ass."

"No wonder your brother got sent to the hospital. To think he thought _you_-" He was cut off abruptly by Dean leaning over the counter and grabbing a hold of his work vest.

"Don't you dare talk about Cas and Jimmy that way or I swear to your precious _God_, I will break your face." Raphael's eyebrow raised and he looked mildly affronted. He reached forward and Castiel lurched slightly, ready to back Dean up if a fight started.

"Here are your tickets, have a nice day." Raphael held up the stubs and Dean let go of his uniform to snatch up the tickets. Castiel let out a sign of relief, and they both walked off, but not before Castiel threw a glare of his own over his shoulder.

They were silent up until they sat down in their seats. The previews were playing, but it would be another 10 minutes before the movie started. The theater was relatively crowded - aparently this movie was popular. Uncaring of the audience, Dean asked him, "What was that guy's problem, anyways? You guys arch enemies at school or something?"

Castiel was hoping they could drop this and pretend it never happened. Instead, he growled out, "Raphael is my cousin."

"No way!" Dean exclaimed, looking shocked. "You guys don't even look related. 'Cuz, you know. He's like..." Black. His aunt on their dad's side had married interracially, and it was something they had always been very proud of. Religious tolerance and all that. Yeah right.

Castiel had to admit he enjoyed the movie - it was full of action and humor, although he didn't understand some of the references. After it was over, they let out into the evening air. Thankfully, either Raphael's shift was over or he was on break, because they didn't see him on the way out. It was cooler today than it was before, because it was slightly overcast, and they decided to eat dinner outside at the nearby Panera Bread.

"Hey, you should stay over my place tonight." Castiel was a little shocked that Dean had asked but he quickly agreed. As if he would miss out on more time with Dean. "I have to go to work tomorrow, but not until noon. You and Sam can do your nerd thing and we can drink beer and play video games or something."

"If Sam's the nerd of the family, what got you so excited to see a movie about comic books?" Castiel asked dryly. Dean shrugged.

"Did you not _see_ Scarlett Johansson in that supersuit? And anyways, Iron Man is the shit. I mean, no homo, but if that guy wanted to bang I'd totally do him."

Castiel hadn't really wanted to know that. "They're rich celebrities. The chances of you ever getting with either of them is below the single digits."

Dean scoffed and took a bite of the ham sandwhich he'd gotten. Castiel grimaced, it was kind of disgusting and extremely fattening. He'd gone with a salad. "Whatever, dude." He said through a mouthfull of bread, meat and some weird orange sauce. "A guy can dream."

So Dean dreamed of sex with famous celebrities, one of which was male. That was... interesting, and a little disturbing. He wondered if he was supposed to take that less literally.

They finished off their meal around 7 pm and headed back to Dean's place. It was a little small and on the other side of town, but Castiel found the place to be kind of homey. It had been spruced up with some stuff of their fathers and some keepsakes of their mother, and it didn't look at all like the run-down apartment of a future college kid. Unlike his brother's place. Sam was sitting on the couch playing Final Fantasy XIII on their flat screen tv, and Dean made it a point to make fun of him. "Oh shit, it's that drama bucket game!" He shouted, dropping a hand affectionately on his brother's shoulder as he passed by. Castiel hadn't failed to notice, and was extremely envious of their brotherly bond.

"Hey, it's got a very complex story line. And anyways, look at this scenery! It's gorgeous!" Sam defended.

They spent the next hour making fun of the voice acting in the game, but at some very emotional point in the game Castiel thought he heard Dean sniffling. Sam snickered next to him and said to Dean, "And you were just making fun of me for this. As if you can talk - I know you record Dr. Sexy M.D. every Thursday night."

Dr. Sexy? Castiel had never heard of it but it sounded... raunchy.

"It's a good show! I'm not ashamed of it!" Dean cried, shaking a fist at his younger brother. They all laughed about it, and then switched the game over to Mass Effect 3, where they all took turns playing online. Sam was awesome at it and kicked severe ass, which was why the other game players were confused when Sam passed the game controller to Dean and suddenly their team sucked. Sam explained over the headset that he was playing with friends, and they were 'newbies'. Castiel wasn't sure what that meant but felt mildly insulted. The other players laughed at him, but it was all in good humor and Dean seemed to take his failure in stride. When the controller was eventually handed off to Castiel, he found that he got used to the controls very easily and was actually congratulated on a few well placed headshots.

Dean and Castiel had sat down around 11 to have a few beers, and even Sam took one out of the refrigerator. They chilled out and just talked for an hour and a half, and Castiel found himself actually enjoying the casual conversations they were having. Dean made a comment that it was the most he'd ever heard Castiel say. Sam 'aww'd at him for 'finally opening up'.

Eventually Sam went to bed and Dean went to have a shower, so Castiel sat down on the couch. He thought of how much more at home he felt here than at his actual house with Micheal. This place was so much more comfortable, and felt as though it was filled with warmth and love. He enjoyed it so, so much. He hoped he'd be invited over again soon. He realized he hadn't thought once of a cigarette since that morning.

He fell asleep on the armchair a few minutes later.

* * *

**A/N: **This chapter and the one before it weren't even in my original story plan. Gotta love pointless fluff.  
Anyways, I'm not sure if there will be an update tomorrow. I have to work extra hours, but it means I get the holiday. So, if not tomorrow than definitely Monday, 'cuz I'll have it off.


	7. Chapter 7

That night Castiel dreamed of Jimmy.

It's not as if he'd never dreamed of his twin brother before. In fact, he dreamed of their past quite often, and it was always extremely disconcerting. Though not quite a nightmare, it always left the dark haired boy feeling hurt and empty inside.

The incidents started up shortly before Castiel had met Dean. At first he'd thought the claims of an angel were simply proclaimations of faith, and he took it as nothing. If anything, it was nice to know his brother could be that devoted to their God. He'd seen nothing wrong with it.

It started bothering him when Jimmy started doing it in public. They shared one of their middle school classes together - a basic science class. On the first day of the new school year, as the teacher had been reading off the attendance sheet, Jimmy's name was called, and then Castiel's.

"Oh, he's on there too?" At the odd look the teacher gave him, Jimmy had clarified, "Well, I thought I was the only one who could hear him." The whole class had laughed and Castiel sunk under his desk. How horrifying. Why had Jimmy said that? After a discussion of the class rules, some students had asked what his brother had meant. Sure, Cas was a little quiet; but so was Jimmy. They mostly stuck together. "Castiel's an angel. So if you guys don't know, does that mean only the teacher can hear him?" So his brother thought he was an angel? Was that supposed to be... flattering? It certainly wasn't normal.

It happened on several more occasions. They'd be eating out at a restaurant, and when the waitress would ask what Castiel wanted to eat, Jimmy would tell her, "Angels don't eat." Lucifer and Gabriel thought it was funny, Micheal thought it was cute. Castiel thought it was thouroughly embarrassing, and would simply order a drink. He already ate very little, as Jimmy had developed a habit of stealing his food. Was this why? After all, angels didn't need the nutrition to survive.

Around that time, Jimmy and Dean had become friends. On a few occasions, Dean was invited over. Castiel had taken to hiding in the shared bedroom whenever the Winchester was at the house, due to his shy nature. He heard the blonde boy, just a year older than them, say his name once or twice. Jimmy had made it clear that Castiel was an 'angel of the lord' and that Dean would never be able to hear his voice, as Dean wasn't chosen. Dean had shrugged it off and acted like it meant nothing, but Castiel knew he could never show his face to Dean now Jimmy had skewed his image.

That was when Castiel started to hate his brother. Rumor was getting out that Castiel wasn't a 'real boy' and he was being teased in school about it. He could handle that, and though he didn't appreciate the public displays he knew his brother didn't mean any harm. But now Dean Winchester, the boy Castiel found himself strangely attracted to, had heard Jimmy's crazy speech. And it only got worse from there.

Dean and Jimmy had apparently been having some kind of heart-to-heart. Dean had admitted something to Jimmy and had asked for his help with the situation, Jimmy later explained to Castiel. Through prayer.

"Castiel can help you!" Jimmy exclaimed, and Dean seemed genuienly interested. Apparently he was desperate enough. "My guardian angel promised me he'd protect me and my family as long as I helped him when he asked for it. Maybe he'll protect yours too!"

Dean had nodded at this, accepting the proffered help though he didn't really believe in it. Anything to stop his father from drinking himself to death. "Alright, lets meet this angel."

Castiel hadn't heard his name being called until Jimmy and Dean were practically screaming it. "Castiel _please_, my friend really needs your help!" Well, if Dean really needed him then... He quickly got out of his room and poked his head down the stairs. Green eyes met his own blue, and Dean looked positively miffed. Awestruck. They didn't stop staring at each other for a long time.

Dean left almost instantly.

A month later his twin had announced he was leaving.

"Alright, where will you be going?" Micheal had asked. There was a rule in the house - you always let Micheal know where you were. Lucifer broke this rule all the time and recently Gabriel had been running off to God knows where. But since Castiel and Jimmy were still technically children, they hadn't yet concieved that the rule could be broken.

"Castiel has an important job for me in Saint Petersburg."

Micheal started. "I'm sorry, _where_?" Jimmy simply grabbed a sweater off the back of a kitchen chair and walked out the door. After not coming home that night, the police had been called. Jimmy was gone for 3 days.

After Jimmy had been found safe and sound and returned home, his eldest brother had demanded to know why Castiel had told him to cross state borders. Castiel had tried to explain that he'd done no such thing, and that his twin had been making up stuff about him for quite a while now. Mike had chalked it up to childish play, and Castiel had been grounded for an indefinate amount of time until Micheal felt he had learned his lesson.

About 8 weeks passed without any major incident. Castiel was still grounded, and Jimmy was still telling people that his brother was an angel. He'd started believing that he and Castiel shared a body, and that when he saw his brother he was viewing from a different perspective while an angel possessed him. Castiel wasn't even a physical _person_ to James Novak anymore. Castiel had taken to spending his free time with Gabe, and occasionally Luke. He stayed in either of their rooms at night, afraid now to be around his twin for any length of time. They noticed and started being concerned for their once inseperable brothers.

Finally, when everything seemed it might work out, the mirage was broken. Micheal was in the kitchen, boiling water for their dinner that night. He and Lucifer were having yet another fight, something that might even become a little physical. Luke seemed about to throw a punch when they heard a scream from behind them.

Castiel had run down to see what the screaming was about, and found his twin brother curled on the ground, nursing his arm. Luke was in the other room, dialing 911. Gabe could be heard shuffling frantically in the basement below them.

"Castiel!" Micheal screamed, sounding more than unhappy and a little distressed. "What could _possibly_ make you think it was alright to tell your brother to stick his arm in boiling water?"

Castiel was dumbfounded. Just... what? "I... didn't. I swear to you I didn't! Jimmy just... does this sometimes!" How could he make Micheal understand that this wasn't him, and that there was something seriously wrong with Jimmy?

His twin was sobbing openly and cursing. "He said nothing would happen! He'd use his angelic grace to keep me from harm! It was supposed to be a declaration of faith!" It seemed like more than just his arm was in pain, his heart was broken as well. "I don't understand, Castiel!"

Mike was trying to gather his youngest brother into his arms while Castiel was desperately trying to clear his name. "Micheal, I would _never_ tell anyone to do this! Please believe me, he's not right in the head!" Nobody was listening to him. Luke was still trying to get an ambulence, and Gabriel was tucked up against the now-open basement door, watching with wide eyes. Mike was trying to comfort his burned brother. The skin on his arm had turned the brightest shade of red and was bubbling slightly. It was sickening to look at.

After a lot of screaming and blame placed on his shoulder, the ambulance finally came and took Jimmy to the hospital. Micheal rode with the youngest while Lucifer drove the others with his newly accuired license. When the got there Jimmy was in the operation room, and they were forced to wait in the visiting center for several agonizing hours.

Jimmy wouldn't die, they all knew that from the start. But it was still a traumatizing event. Castiel was in an insurmountable bit of trouble and there was nothing he could do about it. Apparently, his twin had blabbed, because the nurse suggested the next day that Castiel see a psychiatrist. Micheal and the rest of his brothers had agreed whole heartedly, and within a few days Castiel was being psychoanalyzed on an issue that belonged to his brother. Castiel's bed and belongings were moved to the basement and he was expressly forbidden from any kind of contact with his other. He was prescribed Aripiprazole, a drug for depression, as well as certain anti psychotics. He found it had a serious effect on his concentration. His grades in school dropped and he found himself unable to look at _any_ of his brothers without wanting to burst into tears. The betrayal was simply too much and he contemplated suicide more than once.

Shortly after their 11th birthday, everyone learned the truth. Jimmy and Castiel had been seperated at school, and the elder of the 2 twins now spent their recess and lunch hour in the councilors office. Jimmy, who'd been playing with his classmates outside on that day, had reportedly been destroying the others at basketball when a girl in the grade below him had accidentally hit him with her jumprope.

According to those who had witnessed the event, as soon as he'd seen her, he went pale and jumped her. She was found covered in claw marks from Jimmy's fingernails, and chuncks of her hair were pulled out. Jimmy had been trying to excorcise her, screaming that 'Castiel had to smite her and send the demon back to hell before anyone got hurt'.

At this point there was undeniable truth that Jimmy wasn't mentally sane. Micheal had been taken to court and had been sued into paying medical bills and some therapy for Lilith. When Jimmy had, in court, claimed that he had no twin brother and that Castiel was an angel who Jimmy occasionally got to witness borrowing his body, he'd been put directly into Lawrence hospital on suspicion of a dangerous type of schizophrenia.

Micheal and the rest of his brothers couldn't appologize enough (something Castiel reveled in but never fully accepted). He'd been immediately taken off the pills and out of psychotherapy sessions, and was given his room as well as a regular lunch hour back. The damage had been done, though. It'd been a while since Castiel had any type of conversation with his classmates, and since they never saw him during their down time, most of them didn't know he existed. Any person in town who heard what had happened had demanded to know the story, and now Castiel was met with pity or suspicion wherever he went.

But worst of all, Dean Winchester believed that Castiel was simply a figment of James Novak's imagination. And on their only meeting since the park, he may have seen a warrior of God. This hurt more than anything, because Castiel realized he cared a great deal about someone he'd only met twice, and the urge to get close to the other was unbearable. Jimmy had ruined all chances of that, and now Castiel didn't even have his twin.

Castiel was well and truly alone.

* * *

**A/N:** d'aww, poor Cas. Don't worry, Dean loves you.  
I was watching an episode in season 6 ('cuz that's where I am right now, don't judge) and Balthazar said something like, "You called the wrong angel. The one you're looking for wears a dirty brown trench coat and is in love with you."  
I was like, SQUEEEEEE. And then in the next episode Rachel was like, "I know your secret, Castiel, tell me it isn't true" and all I could think of was, CAS LOVES DEAN THAT'S HIS SECRET.  
Anyways.


	8. Chapter 8

When he woke up, Castiel found he was not in the arm chair he had passed out on. Though his eyes weren't open and he was in no way conscious enough to take in his surroundings, the fact that he was layed out flat in a way that couldn't be posssible in that small chair proved that. He had no idea where he was.

Groggily he pried open his eyes and tried to concentrate on his surroundings. He was in a small, simple room with posters of barely-dressed models on the wall and a few antique looking model cars. There was a desk with an old looking computer on it, a cherrywood dresser that must have been expensive once, and the bed he was sleeping on.

He was dressed, though. Castiel had never once woken up from a drugged state naked, but it had always been a fear of his. As far as he knew though, his virginity was still intact. He must have been in some friend's house.

Suddenly he remembered he'd spent the night at the Winchester house. He was in Dean's room. This was _Dean's room_. This was the most personal and private place of whom Castiel believed was his soul mate. His heartbeat sped up. How the hell had he gotten here? Dean must have carried him. Bridal style. Oh jeez that was weird to think about but now he couldn't get the image out of his head. Strong arms, a muscled chest brushing against his side. Castiel's face heated up.

Embarrased, he pulled the thin sheet covering him tight. It smelled like cheap cologne and spilled beer. It was so utterly Dean it was intoxicating. He had to get out of here.

Stumbling up and over to the door, Castiel roughly rubbed at his eyes before setting to finding the door knob. Once found, he gripped it tight and opened it quickly. He was met with small, dark hallway and the smell of cooking eggs.

Dean was in the kitchen leaning over a frying pan. "Hey sunshine!" He greeted brightly and Castiel wondered what time it was. The clock behind him read 11, and Dean had mentioned last night having to get up an hour before. He couldn't imagine Dean being a morning person, but if he'd been awake for an hour already than it might be explainable. "I'm making omlettes!" He said, before laughing slightly and explaining, "You'd think I'd know how to make more since I've been cooking for Sammy since I was 4, but this is the only breakfast food I can cook right." Castiel groaned. He wasn't used to this kind of enthusiasm in the morning. Micheal was always calm and reading the newspaper, and never made breakfast for him.

As much as he told himself not to, he found himself really loving this place.

Castiel took a few steps forward and collapsed ungracefully onto a wooden chair at the table. Dean smiled at him and broght over a plate before scooping the eggs out onto it. "You made me - well, some kind of after lunch before dinner thing - so I make you breakfast. Guess we're even now." Sam rolled in just then, looking as tired as Castiel felt, and eyed the food. "You can make your own, bitch." Dean quipped at him.

Sam seemed unfazed by this and pulled a banana out of the refrigerator instead. Dean pulled over his own plate of eggs and they all sat at the table, Sam and Dean making small talk while Castiel ate and half-listened. Their voices seemed to go in one ear and out the other. His mind was still on Jimmy.

He and Dean were still eating after Sam finished his fruit. The youngest of them then got up, put on a pair of slippers, and disappeared out the door to the hallway. Dean laughed openly. "He fancies the girl down the hall. Him and Jessica spend practically the whole day together." Castiel might have found that sweet if Sam wasn't 14.

Dean studied him for a moment before frowning. "Is something wrong?"

"I'm supposed to visit my brother this weekend." He'd said it before he even thought to keep his mouth shut. Damn that Dean Winchester. Castiel's eyes averted down to his plate and he pushed the eggs around anxiously.

Dean seemed a little hesitant before he reached over and ruffled Castiel's hair. It was annoying, but full of affection and Castiel felt marginally better. "I'm not normally one for chick moments, but if you wanna talk about it... just know that I don't normally do this." Castiel didn't want to talk about it, and shook his head no. "Alright, no biggie. I'll have a go at it instead." Castiel was still looking away, but Dean Winchester currently held his full attention.

"When I was 4 years old, some creep broke into my brother's nursery, hung my mother from the ceiling, and burned her alive." Holy shit. That was awful. Castiel suddenly felt privy to Dean's innermost nightmares, and it was a frightfully intimate thing. Dean shouldn't be telling him this. "When I ran to the room to pull my brother out, I saw her up there. It was... the single most unnerving thing I have ever experienced. After that, my dad had the house rebuilt. Said it was to maintain her household vision, but it wasn't that at all. He was hardly ever home, trying to find the man who killed her. And when he was, he wasn't our dad. He drank a lot. Got into fights with little Sammy, and towards the end, me too. He died 3 years ago, and we got my uncle Bobby to sell the house. I hated it in that cheap, immitation of a home." Dean stared hard at Castiel's head, who was still looking down. "I thought dad and Sam were my only family, but Ellen and Bobby have been there for me for so long, I don't know what I would do without them. For a while I thought I could be with Lisa and Ben, but she told me I cared more about Sammy than them and broke it off after a year. She was right - I can handle giving all my money away for Sammy, because he's smart and deserves to go to college. But that kid wasn't even mine." He trailed off, finally. It was the darker haired teen's turn now.

"I never knew my mother. My father was the kindest person I've ever met, and he left when I was 8. My oldest brother Micheal has been looking after us since he was 20 years old. My twin brother took the absence of a parental figure to an exreme which developed into psychosis. He turned me into his guardian angel and convinced my brothers I was the insane one. I went through months of intensive lockdown and medications which in turn lead me into depression. When it was finally discovered that my brother was psychotic, the person I'd grown to hate was sent to a mental asylum. I became dependent on drugs and only recently stopped abusing several forms of illegal narcotics." He tilted his head to the side and tried to think over everything he'd just admitted. "...Did I miss anything?"

Dean's mood seemed to have considerably darkened. Castiel felt bad; just a few minutes ago, the other seemed so chipper and lively. Now, he just seemed sad. Neither of them had a very loving past. "You really hate him, huh? I guess it makes sense. I didn't know they blamed you for a while, there. Must have been awful." And it was. The doctors Castiel had gone to see had uncovered unsettling peices of his mind he hadn't even known existed. "I'll bet you never wanna see Jimmy again, huh?"

"I don't." Castiel replied sorrowfully. Castiel finally looked up at Dean through his lashes and found the other nodding to himself. Their eyes met briefly, and for a moment they were locked in eachother's former lives. They could understand eachother more than anyone else ever would.

"You don't really look like him." Castiel's lips thinned in confusion and Dean continued, "For being identical twins, I mean. I don't know how I mistaked you for him." He reached a hand out and poked Castiel's slightly smaller hand with his pinky finger. "You're skinnier. And your voice is all rough." Drugs and malnutrition did that to you. "And your eyes, they're... I dunno. This deep blue. It's intense." Dean paused, and suddenly Castiel felt like his skin was crawling. A grin broke out on the blonde's face. "I think that was the single most gay thing I've ever said."

Feeling the tension ease in the air a little, Castiel said, "I don't know, saying you'd have sex with a male actor was kind of gay-er." Dean busted up laughing and Castiel found himself grinning, too.

"Hey, look." Dean's hand picked itself up from next to Castiel's, and instantly the other missed it. Sheepishly, Dean rubbed the back of his neck. "Ellen says I overwork myself. She's demanding I take a few sickdays. Can I kidnap you Thursday evening?"

Castiel hesitated. Dean wanted to be his friend, but he wanted to be so much more. He knew if he continued to just 'hang out' with the other, he'd end up hurt. "Shouldn't you be relaxing on your day off?"

"Dude, you're like, the most relaxing person I know." Dean mumbled. "So we could chill by the river. I'll get you dinner. What'dya say?" Why was Dean asking this so shyly? _Tell him you can't_. Castiel thought. _You're busy. Your dog died and that's the day of his funeral. Gabriel's hitting the town and needs you to be his wingman that night. Lucifer's got a new shipment of ecstacy and wants to try it on for size._

"Of course, Dean."

"Awesome!" Dean smiled brightly at him and it was as if all the dark feelings that had spread around the room were dissipated. Castiel was hopelessly in love with him, at that moment. "I'll pick you up at seven, 'cuz your car's broken and you're gorgeous." There was a beat of silence. "My car's gorgeous, 's'what I meant. Holy shit, did I really just say that?" He hurriedly picked up Castiel's plate, still half full of eggs and peppers, and dumped it uncerimoniously into the sink. "I have to go to work. Guess I'll give you a ride back."

"I'll take the bus. Don't want you being late." That and Dean's last outburst had been a little weird. He didn't really want to sit in the car with him.

"Uh, 'kay. See you Thursday?"

Castiel nodded. "Thursday." With that, he grabbed his trenchcoat, which was thrown over the back of their couch, and shrugged it on. He left and rode the elevator down to the ground floor, all the while thinking about what Dean had accidentally said. It was just a slip of the tongue. Dean was practically in a relationship of his own with that car, he knew the other had really meant to say that it was gorgeous. It was so like something the mechanic would would say.

Castiel got off the bus at the drug store before his house. Without thinking, he bought himself a pack of cigarettes, shook one out, and had his first smoke in 12 days.

* * *

**A/N: **This is ending up longer than I planned. It's so easy to just throw filler in here... but it means more fluff for you guys.  
So, I'm a few chapters ahead in writing, which is good because I'll be busy this weekend. I feel I should warn you that I hadn't planned for this to be rated M, but that might have to change.


	9. Chapter 9

The rest of Monday and Tuesday were particularly hard for Castiel. He'd only had one cigarette and yet the cravings for them came back full force. Once again, he had lain himself on the bed, twitching but otherwise doing nothing for those 2 days. Dean texted him intermittantly, asking him how his day went or what he thought of that AC/DC casette he'd left him.

Honestly, it was a little loud, but Castiel liked it better than Gabriel's music. That man had a creepy Katy Perry obsession.

Wednesday left him feeling better. While he still thought of the nicotine, he was able to function. When Gabriel realized that Castiel was actually mobile, he jumped on the moment. '**Clb demnoid haz spec 2day lets gt schwasted**' It took him several minutes of analyzing before he understood that his brother wanted him to get drunk at a club. While Castiel wasn't much of a partier, the idea of alcohol always appealed to him, and he texted back an affirmative.

Gabe was overly excited that Castiel had finally agreed to come to The Demonoid with him. He frequented it often and was always asking his brother to give the place a try. As soon as he got the yes, he called Castiel up and told him he was coming over to decide on outfits. And Castiel was told immediately that he wasn't allowed to wear his trench coat. Bummer. Gabriel's logic made sense, though - he didn't really want anyone thinking he was a drug dealer or a flasher.

So there he was, waiting outside a club on a Wednesday night. There was a surprisingly large crowd waiting to get in - apparently this music they were playing, dubstep, was popular. Some girls in the front were squealing obnoxiously about a 'skrillex'. Gabriel said he knew the bouncer (not surprising, Gabe knew everyone) and waited until the man retrieved his head from the doorway inside before dragging his short brother to the front. "Crowley! How's it hanging, bro!" Gabe said, clapping fists with his 'bro'.

The man didn't look big enough to be a bouncer, but he held a wave of authority about him and Castiel knew nobody would be messing with this guy. "Oh, everyone's going nuts because someone's been passing around Crystal." He had a British accent that surprised Castiel. The bouncers eyes rolled over to him and his curiosity seemed to peak. "This your boyfriend? He's cute."

Gabriel scoffed but didn't correct him. "So you gonna let us in?"

"Of course, mate! You always manage to get everyone drinking!" Ahh, so it was a sales pitch. This man seemed to be all about business.

Once inside, Castiel had to squint his eyes. There were flashing lights everywhere and the bodies on the dance floor seemed to be practically melded. Gabriel was still pulling on him and before he knew it they were in line at the bar. They waited a few minutes before it was their turn to order. The bartender was an easygoing guy with a mullet named Ash. He hadn't even asked to see their IDs before serving them up. Gabe had ordered him something Castiel had never heard of before and he sipped it wearily before deciding he liked it. It wasn't sweet enough to be a girl drink but wasn't too hard to swallow down, either. His brothers certainly knew him well.

"Hey Cassy!" Gabe yelled from next to him. The music was so loud that yelling was, infact, necessary. He pointed over to a spot on the dance floor "She has been checking you out since we got here!" Castiel looked in her direction. She wasn't ugly by any standards, but Castiel still didn't find her attractive. He couldn't find anyone besides Dean attractive. She had long brown hair and hard eyes, and she wasn't trying to hide the fact that she was oogling him at all. As soon as their eyes caught she sauntered over.

"Gabe." She greeted. Apparently he really did know everyone. His brother smirked at her and wandered off. "I'm Meg." She said to Castiel. Her arm reached out and she dragged it over the clean blue dress shirt Gabriel had chosen for him. "Wanna dance?" Castiel anxiously looked over to where she had come from - the dancing didn't look like it required talent. As long as he swayed to the beat and rubbed his body against her, he didn't think he'd look too much like an idiot.

"Alright." He agreed. She practically purred at him and seemed to preen a little bit. It was almost like a cat. He decidedly kept this to himself. She grabbed his hand in her own and pulled him to the edge of the crowd, and before he knew it she was glued to him. Luckily, he still had his drink, and he finished it off so he could get this over with.

Meg was practically fluid and her hands were everywhere, and Castiel was more than a little uncomfortable with this. She gave him a sultry smile before she reached behind him and grabbed his ass. "Hey, loosen up a little shy guy. I promise this will be fun." She said when he jumped a little.

They continued this weird motion for a few songs and Castiel felt like he was having sex. It was almost one giant orgy except everyone was wearing clothes. He'd been touched inappropriately by Meg and a few others he didn't know more than once and he was starting to feel violated.

And then Meg was kissing him. It was a simple peck on the lips, trying to get him to relax a little he was sure. But the next thing he knew, he was making out with her and she kissed him back just as roughly. They backed up a couple of paces and fell into a booth. The couple on the other side didn't seem to mind, so Castiel decided to take this as his chance to earn some experience. Meg's tongue snaked it's way into his mouth and was rubbing all over. Castiel wasn't sure what a kiss was supposed to feel like, but he didn't see why people found this so enjoyable. It was kind of... squishy. Still, his recent encounters with Dean had left him feeling confused, and suddenly he wanted to know how to do this. So he continued to lock lips with this random chick from the club.

Their lips smacked together wetly for a while and Castiel was just doing the opposite her movements. When she pushed, he pulled. When she dragged her tongue across his lips, he sucked her tongue in. At some point her fingers had undone the first few buttons of his shirt and she was now caressing his chest.

Castiel had only ever seen porn once, and he hadn't understood it. Chuck's girlfriend Becky was rather strange, and had insisted they watch it one day when they were more than a little high on ecstacy. Why the girl in the video had liked the spanking so much made no sense, as Castiel figured it must have hurt.

Sex had seemed strange to him then, and it seemed just as strange to him now. He didn't want to take this girl to bed, so why was he practically doing that with her now on some booth? He didn't like her, and he didn't think she was good looking, so what was he doing?

Meg seemed really disappointed when he pulled away. When he looked down, her lips were swollen and wet, and her lipstick was smuged. Her eyes raked over him and she bit her lip in a way that should have been seductive. "Listen," He told her earnestly, "I'm not interested in having sex with you. You're wasting your time here, you should go find someone else."

Meg collapsed in on herself somewhat, but her arrogance and sex appeal rebounded almost instantly after. Castiel had barely caught it. "Well, at least you stopped now before we got really hot and bothered." She winked at him and pushed lightly on his shoulder. He awkwardly got up from on top of her. "If you change your mind, come find me, hot stuff." He wouldn't.

He found Gabriel rather easily. There was a section of the crowd in the back that was louder and more drunk than the rest, and his brother seemed to be at the center of it. He walked over and tried to seem a part of them. When Castiel finally caught his brother's eye, the other lifted his beer and called loudly, "Cassy!" He joined his brother's side and took the beer that was offered to him. If it was anyone other than his brother, Castiel might have been afraid of roofies. "So how'd it go with Meg Masters?"

"We made out." Castiel told him bluntly. Gabe hooted and clinked his beer against his own.

"She always goes after the younger crowd." Gabriel told him. "I've hit her up more than once. Very good in bed. How come you didn't go for it?" As if Gabriel didn't already know. Now he was just trying to weasel it out of him.

"It wasn't... pleasant." Castiel admitted. "Too slippery." The guy next to him was leaning precariously and Castiel stepped backwards a little so as not to be felled on. "I don't see what the big deal with sex is." The guy next to him tipped. Good thing he'd moved out of the way. Curiously, he peered down and found a classmate of his. Samuel Colt. Huh.

"Mmm, well." Gabe said almost gravely. As if Castiel would never understand the glory. "Dean seems like he'd be more of a rough lover. That might be better suited to your tastes." What tastes? Castiel had none. He liked Dean because the other was crude and always told the truth, and yet was nice and a great guy when you got to know him. And yeah, while the other's emerald green eyes and muscles drove him crazy, those features on other men had never turned him on. Nothing besides Dean had ever made him lust. "By the way, bro, you might wanna button up your shirt before another girl jumps 'ya." He did just that.

Castiel finished off this second drink and started to feel a little buzz. If he was going to stay here longer with his brother, he needed more alcohol. "Gabe." He said. "Another drink." While Castiel and Gabriel were both underage, the elder had connections. He could get things that the younger couldn't.

They went back over to the bar and Ash smirked at them before turning over the same drink they'd had before. Gabe threw enough money on the table to cover the previous beverages as well, and they headed back over to a more secluded section. Castiel felt a little more at ease here, and felt himself sigh. Gabriel hadn't heard it, but he could hardly hear anything in here.

"Hey, Cassy!" He grinned broadly and Castiel was more than a little afraid. "Let me teach you how to grind." The idea of being taught that by his brother was unsettling.

The rest of the night was spent on the dance floor, Gabe trying to school his brother in the art of social competence. "Come on, Cassy! Get that stick outta your ass!" He shouted and Castiel was glad that nobody else within a foot radius could hear them.

Castiel drove home because he was only tipsy, and his brother was drunk off his ass. The blue eyed boy would have thought he was a bad influence if he knew Gabriel was only trying to help him. His shy nature would only hold him back in life and the elder was just trying to teach him how to embrace life.

Luke wasn't home when he dropped his brother off, so Castiel decided to crash in his bed. It was 1 in the morning and he didn't really want to have to deal with Micheal in the morning.

He actually felt good going to bed that night. Gabriel didn't and threw up more than once. But Castiel felt accomplished. He'd learned how to dance, got alcohol courtesy of his brother, and had made out with a person for the first time in his life. He'd actually gotten out and lived a little. And in 16 hours, he was going to see Dean.

When he checked his phone that night, he found a text from said man. '**Hope your night is less boring then mine**'. Castiel smiled. He had had one of the best nights in a while.

* * *

**A/N: **My sincerest apologies for not having this up last night. If you're one of those people who likes to know that others are suffering with you, I was writhing in my bed because of a migraine.  
Also, there will be no update tomorrow, because I have work and then directly after is my high school commencement. Awww yeah. ;D


	10. Chapter 10

Castiel had spent the majority of the next day helping Luke categorize his 'collection'. While Castiel was no longer doing drugs, he still knew how to handle them and it was something his brother appreciated.

Of course, Lucifer had to bring up their missing brother, Jimmy. He'd asked Castiel what the plan was, and Castiel told him there was none. Micheal would be going tomorrow and Gabe and Luke were still undecided about whether they would go on Saturday, but Castiel wouldn't be going with any of them. He wouldn't be going at all.

He'd gone home around 4 o'clock, took a shower and laid down for a nap. He'd meant to only be out for an hour or so, but he was woken up when his door was burst open and someone walked into his room.

"Dude!" A deep voice called. Dean. He'd forgotten the other was coming over. "Why are you sleeping? I got fucking Olive Garden!" Too. Loud. Castiel groaned and rolled over, prying his eyes open and peering at the man now leaning over him. They had one of their staring contests again, with Castiel's eyelids fluttering and Dean's smirk growing ever wider. "Get up, you lump!"

Castiel was startled at just how _easily_ Dean was able to scoop him up. A pair of tanned arms and slid underneath him, one hooking underneath his knees and the other wrapped around his shoulder. He was hefted up and out of bed before he could even protest. Castiel was instantly reminded of a few nights ago, when he'd slept over and Dean must have carried him, just like this, to a bed. His face flushed in embarassment and he pushed weakly at the older's chest. "I'm up! Put me down!" He wouldn't admit he was whining right now.

Dean laughed heartily and whisked him off down the stairs. Castiel didn't even have the strength to protest. They passed by Micheal, watching the news on the couch. His eldest brother looked up at them for a second, before turning his eyes right back to the TV. His expression didn't so much as twitch. "Castiel, your friend is here." He said monotonely.

"Thanks." Castiel grumbled. Dean dumped him on the couch perpendicular to Micheal and Castiel scrambled to regain his composure.

"Man, we're wasting precious daylight! Wake up already and lets go!" Dean dropped next to him on the couch and threw an arm around him. "Unless you wanna go back upstairs." He smirked at Castiel and threw him a wink. "I get the feeling you're a cuddler."

"Not in my house." Micheal warned. "Gabriel's is already filthy, do it there." Oh, so his brother didn't even care if he was getting it on, he just wanted his house to stay clean. That was nice to know.

It seemed a little odd that Micheal, the picture of faith and abstinence, seemed okay with Castiel having sex with a man.

"Hey baby, after this date we should head back to my place." The blonde's eyebrows raised and he leered at his companion. Holy cow, was Dean really playing this game with him? Castiel felt as if he was about to explode.

"Shut up and get off." Boy was he charming. Flirting just came naturally to him.

He grabbed his keys on the way out and took a seat in the passenger of the impala. The car roared to life and they cruised their way down the street and around the corner to the local park. A river ran through there, and apparently that was their destination for the evening. "Don't think my choice of dinner was like, cliche and lovey-dovey or whatever. They have kickass breadsticks and I was really craving 'em." Dean explained as soon as they took off. Castiel sighed - Olive Garden was expensive. He would have to insist on paying the other back. "I got chicken alfredo and ziti al forno, 'cuz I figured I couldn't go wrong with at least one of them." He looked over and surveyed Castiel for a moment before asking, "That okay?"

"I'm fine with either." Castiel stated and looked out his window. Dean was driving awfully fast for a housing district. He supposed you could do that when you had a fancy car like this one. His phone beeped and he flipped it open to look inside. '**Rmbr safe sx is good sex alws yse condm**' Jesus, Mike couldn't keep his damn mouth shut. Gabriel would be bothering them all night.

A minute later, Dean's phone also went off. Tiny speakers played a classic guitar riff. "Hey, read that off to me would'ja?" Castiel picked up the phone and pressed a random button. The thing was almost as cheap as his was. The screen lit up, and Castiel studied it for a moment before figuring out how to pull up the text.

"Last night says Cassy likes it rough." Castiel translated Gabriel's text speak. His face lit up with the phone and his throat closed shut. Oh God that was horrifying. He'd just read that outloud.

Dean was laughing hysterically, though, and for a second Castiel thought they were about to lose their lives as the car swerved a bit. Dean regained control of the wheel before asking, "What happened last night?"

He struggled for words a moment before choking out, "We went to a club and I kissed some woman."

Dean smiled at him, but Castiel noticed his grip had tightened on the steering wheel. He was glad - he wasn't particularly looking forward to getting in an accident. He'd already had that happen 2 weeks ago. "Was she hot?" Dean almost stuttered. He'd never heard Dean stutter before.

"I don't really find people attractive." Castiel replied forlornly. Dean changed the topic and they spent the rest of the drive talking about the drinks he'd had last night.

When they arrived at the park, Dean pulled a bag of delicious smelling food out of the trunk as well as a 6 pack of beer. They walked along the gravel path leading to the water in a comfortable silence and then found a bench by the river's edge. Dean sat down a produced forks and breadsticks from the bag. He handed whatever take-out box was on top to Castiel and grabbed the other for himself.

They ate and drank their alcohol while Dean chatted friendly, as per usual. Castiel watched as a pair of ducks floated by on the water and Dean threw out some pieces of bread to them. As soon as they finished eating, Dean kicked off his shoes and dunked his feet in the water.

"My dad used to take us here on the rare occasion that he was sober." The blonde man explained. Castiel hummed softly and followed Dean's example. The water was cold but the day was hot, so it felt good. "Sammy used to do this while I was scaring off the birds. He was the good kid." Castiel thought that Dean must be settling down, then, if he was doing something so calming. This was kind of sad to think about. Dean was changing.

"I always used to come here with Jimmy when I was upset." He said. Dean wisely said nothing. "Except we always stayed on that side of the park, since it's closer to our home." Dean took in a hurried breath next to him and his eyes grew wide. "...What?"

"Dude, that's Lisa and Ben!" Dean exclaimed. He got up and crouched behind Castiel, trying to hide himself from his ex-girlfriend. Castiel thought he should have picked a different spot, as Castiel was shorter than the other and wouldn't provide much cover.

Still, Castiel didn't understand the problem here. "She broke up with you on kind terms, didn't she? What are you afraid of?" Dean huffed behind him and tried to make himself smaller. "Come on, you can be mature about this." Ironic, he'd just thought Dean was growing up.

"You don't understand, man. I just got over her like, a few weeks ago! What if I'm still in love with her?" Wow, that was sobering. Castiel felt like he'd been drenched in cold water. Or maybe that was just the river water washing over his feet.

"If you're worried you're still in love with her, how can you be over her?" The teenager asked. Dean contemplated this for a few seconds before answering.

"I might be interested in someone else." Why did he even ask this stuff? Satisfying his curiosity was like masochism. He didn't want to know this about the man he was utterly infatuated with, and yet he questioned the other anyways. They needed to stop hanging out. He needed to go back to the only other friends he needed; Chuck whom he wasn't gay for, and Anna who was his cousin. Spending time with Dean was almost starting to be painful.

Lisa passed by, and if she noticed Dean she pretended not to. Dean heaved a sigh of relief and removed himself from behind Castiel. He picked up another beer out of the 6 pack and cracked it open. Neither talked for about 10 minutes, and Dean dipped his feet back into the blue water. Finally, he said slowly, "I think I might be bisexual."

Castiel shrugged. "I've only ever been interested in one person my whole life. Just because you can appreciate Robert Downey Jr. while I can't doesn't mean you like men."

"You're never gonna let that go, are you?" Dean asked him haughtily, but he was smiling. Castiel felt the corners of his lips lifting. "I guess you're right, though." He continued. "I mean, I can admit a guy's good looking and I'd be willing to do a few of 'em, but like, I much prefer ladies to men. I've never gone out of my way to look for one and he'd have to approach me about it." He was still looking at Castiel when he said, "I guess I'm like you, then. It's only one person."

"Who, Robert Downey Jr.?" Castiel's dark hair tilted slightly to the side as he scruitinzed the other's face.

"No, you little shit." Dean laughed. "Why won't you forget about that!" It wasn't a question, Dean actually thought it was funny. That's why Castiel wouldn't forget about it. "I'll tell you mine if you tell me yours."

He didn't even miss a beat. "Absolutely not."

"Wow, alright. You trust me enough to tell me your deep dark past, but you won't tell me who you have a man crush on. I see how it is." Castiel looked away to hide his blush. Maybe... Dean wouldn't care. Or maybe Dean would turn him down and they could end this stupid friendship that Castiel knew he shouldn't even be a part of. It might even be less painful in the end.

He almost said it when Dean's phone went off again. The taller man reached into his pocket and pulled the device out, reading the text and expertly typing a response. "Your brother thinks I'm gonna fuck you into next week." He noticed as Castiel turned bright red. "Chill dude, I would never do that to an unwilling participant. Though you can have my bed tonight, if you want." Castiel turned an even darker shade. "Sleepovers are for chicks, but I like them anyways. Don't ever tell Sammy."

Oh. That's what he meant. Well, Castiel had decided he liked the Winchester apartment more than his own house. As much as he wanted to break off their complicated relationship, well...

Perhaps he was a glutton for punishment.

* * *

**A/N: **I know I've been updating less frequently lately. Summer break's started and while you'd think I'd have more time... I haven't this week.  
I'm going to post the next chapter soon and then I'm going on a season 7 watching spree, since the DVD's aren't out yet and I don't have to wait and watch them with my brothers. So the chances that this story will be updated again after the chapter are... not soon.


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: **guys, rating went up. Take note now.

* * *

"So, what'd you think of kissing that lady?" Dean asked as soon as they'd arrived at the empty apartment. Sam had called to tell his brother he was staying at Jessica's house. Her parents were home, so no, they weren't going to do anything naughty, don't get any stupid ideas Dean.

"It was sorely disappointing. I don't understand the reason why you people like it so much." Castiel rolled his eyes and started to toe his shoes off.

"Perhaps she was just bad at it." Dean pointed out. Castiel knew she wasn't; Gabe had said she was good in bed. "Not to brag or anything, but I'm an awesome kisser. I can show you the magic sometime, if you want."

Castiel rolled his eyes. "I thought you weren't going out of your way to hit on guys." Castiel was sick of this game. It hit too close to home.

"Was that a rejection? Ouch. My one time trying and I'm knocked to the ground." He clutched a hand to his heart in a show of overdramatics. "It's alright, I've handled rejection before. I'll get over it. Eventually."

They walked into the living room and Dean pointed to a shelf full of DVDs. He told Castiel to pick one while he grabbed them some popcorn and drinks. Castiel wasn't firmiliar with many of the movies his friend had, so he scanned the titles for something he knew. He found 'The Nightmare on Elm Street', a remake of an old movie that he had, infact, seen. Deciding this was his best option, he slid it out of it's place and threw it on the coffee table, then leaned back on the couch and waited for Dean to come back. The microwave could be heard popping in the kitchen the other was back with a bowl and some cola shortly after it beeped.

He set down the popcorn and put the DVD into the player. The movie started up and one of the characters, similarly named Dean, had his first encounter with Freddy Krueger.

Castiel knew how this story went and was too old to be scared by horror movies, but Dean seemed to want to make fun of him anyways. "You can always cling to my arm if you need to." He said, a smirk in his voice.

Dean just couldn't stop with these kinds of jokes today, couldn't he? He was growing tired of this. Perhaps he could scare Dean off, and then the other would stop. Well, if he was going to keep offering, then... "I might take you up on that."

The older of the 2 laughed and extended an arm Castiel's way. The darker haired boy took it gingerly and, unsure of how to proceed, pulled it towards his chest. Dean was still smirking but said nothing, so Castiel just held it limply there for a while.

Halfway through the movie, Castiel was getting bored of watching Freddy murder teenagers. He chanced a glance over at Dean and found the other quickly looking away. What was that? Was Dean staring at him? Castiel pretended not to notice and turned his attention back to the screen. A few minutes later, he could feel a pair of green eyes on him again. This... was curious. There were screams and blood and gore on screen, and yet Dean found looking at him more intriguing.

"You could be a little more discreet about it." Castiel rumbled. Dean was instantly embarassed and snapped his gaze back to the movie. The other's arm was resting calmly between his hands, but Castiel could feel the muscles tensing up now. Dean's tongue flicked across his dry lips. Castiel looked back to Freddy.

The movie ended and Krueger's dream came true. Now the credits were rolling and Dean turned around to smile at him. "The first time I saw that movie I didn't sleep for 3 days. If you're still scared, we can share the bed tonight."

Holy fuck this had to stop. Castiel pulled hard on the arm he was holding, and Dean lurched sideways on the couch. Green eyes peered up at him in confusion from Castiel's lap, and Castiel couldn't help himself. He leaned down and planted his lips on Dean's.

The other didn't react immediately. He was still for a few agonizing moments, but finally Dean pushed up and Castiel thought he was about to be knocked off. But once Dean was on top, instead of pulling away, he took control. Castiel was pressed into the couch cushions. His head was caught awkwardly in the corner and his legs were dangling off the side, but they were still kissing. Dean was _actually_ kissing him back.

For a while all they did was move. There was a lot of shifting and adjusting so that they could both be comfortable. Finally, Dean deepened it and Castiel gasped. Dean took advantage of this, and slipped his tongue into the shorter man's mouth. Dean's stubble was scratching on his jaw and Castiel found this easier than with Meg. With her, it had been too slippery and smooth. But this was rough and hot and Dean was doing most of the work. Castiel could just focus on the motions and feelings.

The back half of the couch was digging in his skull, so Castiel tilted his head backwards. Dean took this as some sort of cue, because he broke away from Castiel's mouth and dove into his neck. He licked and sucked and it just felt so damn _good_, and then Dean bit down on his collarbone and Castiel yelped. It had hurt and was certain to leave a mark, but Dean's tongue was now doing magnificent things to it and Castiel forgot the pain in favor of focusing on the more pleasurable feelings. Dean's hand was running up his chest and Castiel let out a loud moan when Dean, fumbling with a button, just ripped the shirt open instead.

Castiel's hands found Dean's hair and tangled themselves in it. Experimentally, the younger boy rolled his hips upwards. Dean groaned, low and needy. Dean's other hand, not rubbing in all the right places, traveled downwards and Castiel involuntarily moaned out the other's name. It was so wanton and lewd, and maybe a little too personal.

"Oh God," Dean keened, "that was so fucking hot." His pupils were dialating and his breathing was getting constantly heavier. "We shouldn't... not on... the couch. Bedroom." It was said inbetween kisses and breaths and before Castiel knew it, he was being manhandled again. Dean carried him off to the bedroom and from there, they started losing clothes. Castiel's shirt, torn open moments before, was discarded onto the floor before they even made it to the bed. Dean broke away for a moment to peel his own off. When Dean jumped back in their chests pressed together and it was so erotic that Castiel wasn't sure he could get any harder.

He wasn't even really sure what was going on anymore. All he knew was that Dean was grinding against him and he wanted to go further so badly. He gasped as Dean's hand finally found the waistband of his pants and he lurched his hips away so that Dean could just _get them off already_. The other did just that and now a finger was tracing him through his boxers and fuck. This was even better than his dreams. Dean was having his way with him and it was so absolutely amazing and mind blowing.

Finally, _finally_, Dean's hand plunged into his boxers. His skin was warm and sweaty on Castiel's erection and it was too much. He bucked forwards and whimpered softly. Castiel rarely ever touched himself and the sensation was almost foreign but oh so wonderful. Dean responded accordingly, and tugged slowly on the other. This was maddening; Castiel needed more.

Dean leaned forward and pressed his mouth against Castiel's ear. "Cas, whose... whose the person you're - _fuck_ - in love with?"

"It's... uhhhhn, I can't..." Dean's tongue was licking the shell of his ear and his hand wasn't going fast enough. His eyes squeezed shut as the other added more pressure. One of his legs was caught in between Dean's thighs and the other was gyrating against it relentlessly.

"Castiel, _please_, I gotta... I gotta know..." Castiel had no idea what Dean was saying. None of the words were making sense as his brain was just too fogged up with pleasure. At last Dean was picking up speed and Castiel was finding it harder and harder to hold on to his sanity. His mouth was half open and moans were spewing out like nobody's business. Dean's neighbors were probably hearing everything.

"Oh God, I... can't... I'm gonna..." Dean's hips were rocking in tandem with his and the hand on his erection was doing all the right things. Castiel's own hands were clawing their way down Dean's back but the blonde didn't seem to notice. His eyes were focused on Castiel's lips and he leaned down to kiss him. It was messy and didn't last for more than a few seconds before they both were gulping for air. Castiel's vision was going white. He wasn't sure how much longer he could hold on.

Castiel came with a jerk and Dean grunted and followed suit. He was overcome with waves of pure bliss and he didn't ever want to come down from this high. He did though, and became aware that both of them were still in their boxers. Infact, Dean was still in his jeans. It was sticky and kind of disgusting, but Castiel couldn't even bring himself to dwell on it. He didn't masturbate much, but that was still the best damn orgasm of his whole life.

His eyelids were drooping. Dean was half-heartedly kissing on his shoulder. He turned his head to look at the other and their eyes met. Dean got up and pressed their lips together, and it was kind of sweet this time - not very passionate but full of something. Castiel didn't know what.

It was obvious they were both to tired to continue. It had been a long day, and the foreplay had worn them both out. Castiel had never had an experience like that before so one go enough for him, but Dean had. He was kind of surprised that the other was this spent. Dean mentioned only being with Lisa for a year, which means it must have been several months since his last girlfriend, if he was still as hung up on her as he had insinuated.

That last thought should have been more distressing for him, but he was exhausted and just wanted to sleep. Dean had rolled over on his side and pulled Cas up against him. Warm breath was ghosting over the side of his neck and Castiel felt himself drifting off. He sighed contentedly and curled back into the other's embrace unconciously. Then he was out like a light.

* * *

**A/N: **I'd planned to never write a sex scene in my life, because I'm too squeemish that half the time I can't even read them. But then... I dunno. It probably sucks, but I did what I could.  
You should all know that I haven't written anything new for this story in like, a week, and I've run out of pre-written stuff to post up. Also, I'll be finishing season 6 tonight and then I've got all of season 7 to watch within the next few days. So uh... no updates for a while.  
I'm sorry, but like I said first chapter, I've never finished anything that wasn't a one-shot. I've got a few more ideas for this story though, so it might not be dead yet.  
Also, what the hell is this thing about the images?


	12. Chapter 12

Castiel woke up first the next morning. It was early (earlier than usual, anyways). He was very aware of the sweat-covered body stuck behind him.

He was spooning with Dean. Holy shit this couldn't even be real. But it was. He could feel the other breathing softly in the crook of his neck, and the warm breath was so comforting Castiel wanted to go right back to sleep.

But this situation was weird. He never thought he'd ever experience it, and he wanted to take it all in while he could.

He felt unsanitary. It wasn't the fact that his entire body was covered in a thin sheen of sweat, or that the inside of his underwear was kind of, well, crusty. It was because he'd just emotionally invested himself in a night of pleasure that his partner surely felt nothing for. To him, it was everything. To Dean, it was probably some sort of sexuality experiment. That actually hurt a little bit, right in his chest cavity.

The air smelled like sex. There was no other way to describe it. It instilled in him a kind of peace, and he decided he didn't care what Dean thought of last night. He'd get over it. Once he left for college he'd have all that time to forget about what a mistake that was. He'd just have to spend the next year avoiding public places where he might run into the firmiliar blonde. He practically did that anyways.

Said firmiliar blonde was mumbling incoherently behind him. Castiel listened for a few moments, trying to discern something. He could feel the other's heartbeat behind him. It was soft with sleep, but Castiel felt anchored to it. Hell, Dean had his heart. It was only fair that he get Dean's for however long this moment would last.

He could also feel the other's lips moving against the crook of his shoulder, and he refocused his attention on trying to decipher the english. He'd heard something about Lisa and Ben, and family. And then Dean murmured soft and broken, "I might love you."

_I just got over her like, a few weeks ago! What if I'm still in love with her_?

Ohshitohshitohshit. Whelp, time to go.

As quiet as he could, he peeled himself out of bed and scanned the floor. He found his pants discarded around the bedpost and shoved his legs through them. His shirt was... he remembered Dean tearing it off on the couch in the other room. Well, as long as he buttoned up his trench coat he would probably still be allowed on the bus.

His eyes caught on a poster of a nearly naked Megan Fox on the wall. Lovely, just what he wanted to see right now. He walked carefully down the short hallway, mindful of any creaky boards, and stepped out into the living room. His shirt was hanging loosely over the arm of the couch, and Castiel examined it before deeming it unwearable. In a sudden bout of anger he threw it to the side.

Stupid Dean. Stupid everything. He was finally picking his life back up after Jimmy had fucking ruined it. He'd weaned himself off the drugs and gave up cigarettes at his brother's request. He'd picked up his grades and was on his way to getting a great scholarship at a great college. And now his heart was being broken by the one person he deemed worthy of his affections. _Screw you, Dean Winchester_. Perhaps a bad choice of words, but he meant every bit of it. Fuck Dean and his lame one-sided friendship. Fuck the stupid meaningless text conversations and the semblance of caring if he quit smoking. Forget the few nights he spent actually having fun watching movies and slurping milkshakes with his green-eyed acquaintance. He couldn't _do_ this anymore.

Exasperated, he scrubbed a hand over his face and sank down onto the couch in front of him. Castiel took a few methodical breaths. In, out. The same hand tangled itself in his dark hair and he tugged it lightly, trying to distract himself. This was not where he wanted his life to be right now. He needed to be making money, not wasting his time on some naïve hope that Dean might actually like him back.

Something behind him creaked. Castiel froze momentarily before quickly erasing the tears that had been pricking at his eyes. When he turned around, Dean was lazily stumbling in.

"Mornin'." The other mumbled, yawning breifly. He made his way towards the kitchen, still wearing the jeans from yesterday but also had on some different shirt with a band name written on the front that Castiel didn't recognize. He turned on the tap and splashed it over his face before turning back to look at Castiel. "...Uh, you alright? Want some food?"

Castiel's eyes flashed and he stood up abruptly. Stiffly, he walked to the archway leading to the other and leaned against it. "Just water, please. And I'm fine."

"Uh-huh." Dean said in disbelief before grabbing a glass. He filled it with water and passed it over. Their hands were so close to touching and Castiel resisted the urge to just grab the wrist. And perhaps break it.

He sat down at the table and Dean pulled what appeared to be leftover bacon out of the fridge before joining him. They were silent for a while, Dean watching Castiel intently and Castiel looking pointedly away. The atmosphere was suffocating, and Castiel was a little desperate to get out.

"You have work today. I'll take the bus home." He said. Dean tensed up on the other side of the table but didn't disagree.

"Yeah, I gotta go take a shower." Dean in the shower. What a nice thing for Castiel to be thinking of right now. "So, I uh, guess I'll talk to you later."

"Perhaps not a good idea." He'd just kind of blurted it out, but it wasn't such a bad call now that Castiel thought about it. He wasn't too keen on keeping up a false friendship after having... foreplay. Not sex, not really. He was pissed and it was hard to believe that a few minutes ago in the bedroom he hadn't cared what Dean would think. He was terrified of it right now. He wouldn't just get over this in college. This was something he was never going to forget about.

Dean looked a little stung. His jaw clenched tightly and he looked about to 'rip Castiel a new one', but he simply shifted his weight to his other foot before sighing dramatically. He still looked angry, but he acquiesced, "Alright."

Castiel scooped up his coat and got up to stride out of the apartment. By accident and completely not of his own intent, he glanced backwards. Dean was practically staring a hole through the floor. For a one night mistake, Dean seemed to be taking this rather personally. For a guy who'd said he could handle rejection...

But it wasn't like he'd actually broke up with Dean or anything like that. There was nothing romantic between them. Perhaps he was mourning a lost comrade, someone who was as emotionally broken as him. Dean had said that Castiel was his last link to Jimmy.

So that was it.

Damn, he should have seen that one. He didn't seem to know anything when it came to Dean. Of course Dean was desperate to get close to his best friend again. And Castiel was means to an end. All those times he'd told the Winchester what he really thought of Jimmy, how much he hated his twin and how he never wanted to see him again, what was Dean thinking? He'd seemed sympathetic towards Castiel, but was that really the case? Afterall, Dean had known Jimmy since he was 11 years old. Dean had known his twin for 2 weeks. Just because he'd comforted Castiel out loud didn't mean that he actually felt the same.

Castiel grimaced. His feet carried him out of the lobby and before he knew it, he was sitting at a bench for the bus stop. There weren't many people out, as it was a weekday morning and most had probably just arrived at work.

There was however, his old drug dealer. Feeling heartbroken but not quite wanting to be left alone, he called out. "Dick." The other swiveled and his eyes focused on Castiel before a grin broke out on his face.

"Oh my, it's been a while." Richard Roman was the most popular dealer the city had to offer, before he'd broken out of the business a year ago and instead dabbled in real estate. From what Castiel had heard, the other was very successful and was becoming a rising star in the media. His actions were boarderline criminal, but when you were one in the past you learned to cover that stuff up. "I hope you're not looking for something illegal because I don't do that anymore. Plus, I heard you quit the LSD. And the pot. And the ecstacy. Oh, and recent sources tell me tobacco too."

It was always unnerving how much Dick knew about everyone. Castiel, especially. During their old meetings the other had made jokes about being inside him and if that didn't sound provocative, he didn't know what did. Trying to keep his voice neutral, the blue eyed teen responded, "I did."

"Good for you." Dick said appreciatively. "You were always incredibly smart, it was such a waste to see all that natural talent go to waste." The other was always going on about that, genius that was impossible to replace. "You'll be out of school after next year, won't you?"

Castiel knew that Dick already knew the answer to that. He replied, anyways. "Yes."

Dick's grin grew ever wider and he reached into his pocket, pulling out a business card. "My company could sure use you." The card was held between his two fingers and he offered it to the younger boy. Castiel took it slowly. "If you give my secretary a call, I'm sure she can set you up with an internship. And once you graduate, well, the possibilities are endless."

This shocked Castiel. He'd known the other for a while and Dick was not someone to take lightly. He was ruthless and a great leader all the way, but to be put on his team was not an easy feat. He couldn't stand up to that.

"I'll be certain to call her, then." He said. Dick's lips fell as if he sensed the other's hesitation, but he didn't mention it.

"I look forward to working with you, Castiel." The other said. It had sounded so grim, for someone whose company was going gold. Like once he got in, he wasn't getting out.

But he needed money. And he needed a distraction from his current love situation. Perhaps this job could be a good thing for him.

The older man had walked away to a sleek black car. A man came out of the drivers seat and held the door open for him, and Dick slid into the back seat. The window rolled down and the other sent him a small salute before his car pulled away.

Castiel pulled out his phone and connected it to Gabriel. When the other picked up with an exuberant hello, Castiel said, "I need to borrow a shirt." Because as much as Micheal had seemed okay with Dean and his younger brother having intercourse, it probably still wouldn't go over well if he came back half naked.

* * *

**A/N: **You hear that, guys? Dick wants to be _inside_ of Cas. Get out your rape whistles, everyone.  
I'm surprised you guys liked the lemon last chapter. But uh, thanks.  
And to 'My Dirty Joke', you flatter me, really. I read your review and couldn't stop smiling. Also, Lori deserves a shout out too because you've reviewed so many of my chapters and I've never really thanked you for that.


	13. Chapter 13

Going to Gabriel's house was actually a really bad idea on Castiel's part.

Both of his brothers were home when he arrived. Gabriel was wearing an apron, probably making cupcakes. His sweet tooth overrode his masculinity at times, but to be fair, they were damn good cupcakes. Lucifer was on the couch, idly counting a huge wad of cash. Castiel was beyond jealous.

He hadn't even started to take off his coat when he was jumped by an overbearing older brother. "So!" Gabriel didn't waste any time. "Mind telling us why you don't have a shirt?" Oh yeah, he'd almost forgotten. Perhaps it was best that he _didn't_ take his coat off after all.

Lucifer looked up and smirked at Castiel before asking, "Was it cocaine?"No goddamnit it was _not_ cocaine! His brother wanted him to be on drugs more than Castiel himself did!

"Don't be silly, Lucy!" Gabriel crowed. He threw his arms up in the air and cried, "It was Dean Winchester of course!"

"Ahh." Luke said, knowingly. "That kid Cassy's been crushing on for nearly 7 years." Castiel attempted to ignore them as they discussed his sex life, and instead went over to Gabe's room to steal from his dresser. If they were gonna be this nosy about him, he was gonna take the nicest one. Quickly, he removed his trench coat and slipped on some silky spanish-looking button up. The sleeves actually had _ruffles_, but he could look past that because damn he wasn't a fashion freak, but silk felt nice.

When he went back out, his brothers were still talking. "He's walking fine, so it can't have gone that far." Lucifer was arguing.

"Unless he was the top." There was a bout of silence and then both of them broke out in laughter. Great. "Alright, fine." Gabriel amended. "Blowjob."

Luke shook his head no. "Cassy's too uptight." He said. They didn't even seem to care that Castiel was right there, listening to all of it. "Handjob. Favor wasn't returned." They both looked to him for confirmation. Knowing they were right on the dot, and feeling kind of bad when it was put that way, Castiel looked away. They'd just made him out to be a sexually inexperienced douchebag, and that was pretty close to the truth, too.

Gabe eyed up his shirt and said, "I want that back." Yeah right. He wasn't getting it back.

He stayed with his brothers for a while, appreciating their laid back company for once. Though they teased him, they teased everybody and it was kind of funny to listen to them. A **RRE **commercial was on the TV and Luke smirked, knowing that the drug dealing position was now his. Gabriel exclaimed loudly, "Who willingly asks everyone to call him _Diiiick_?" It was said drawn out and with lots of animosity that Castiel actually laughed out loud a little, to which his brothers pointed out and smiled at. He mentioned his run in with the entrepanuer earlier that day, and Gabe gasped. "Crowley says that guy's bad news!"

Crowley was a bouncer at a club. What the hell did he know about it? Lucifer brought this up for him, so Castiel remained silent as usual and instead chose to listen.

"That man's a business man at heart. Hates him because _Dick's_ making all the good business calls that Crowley wishes were his. It's jealousy to the extreme like I've never seen, except maybe when Dean used to come over to hang with Jimmy." Everything related back to him and Dean, didn't it? Annoyed, Castiel got up and bid his brothers farewell before walking home.

It was just nearing 2 o'clock when he got there. Michael had apparently just gotten home as well, because he was placing his wallet in a drawer and hanging his keyes on a hook. He greeted Castiel and offered to make lunch in a few, so Castiel went up to his room.

He set his phone on the nightstand and, out of a habit he'd recently picked up, checked it. Nothing. No texts, no missed calls, no voicemail. That was... fine. He tried not to feel disapointed.

When he smelled frying tofu coming from downstairs, Castiel realized he hadn't eaten anything that day. His stomach growled in protest and he went downstairs to offer to help his brother. Michael was setting out plates and finishing off some rice when Castiel entered the room.

"Sit, Castiel." Mike said, gesturing towards the table with the soy sauce in his hands. "We have something to catch up on."

Oh no. That sounded bad. But, well, he was stuck now. No way to weasel his way out of this. When Michael wanted to talk serious, he talked serious. Castiel sat down and stiffly waited while Michael scooped out some rice and tofu for him.

"As you know, I was visiting James earlier." No. He was already having a horrible day. He didn't want to have this conversation right now. Apparently, Michael didn't seem to care about that, because after eying Castiel and noticing the displeased posture, he continued anyways. "He's good. Definately better."

Castiel didn't care. He could be perfectly sane now and Castiel wouldn't give a single fuck. He picked up his fork and stabbed a bit of tofu, perhaps with too much force. The plate squealed in protest. Michael went on. "He wants to see you."

Not a chance in hell. No way, absolutely not. His eyes narrowed and he glared menacingly at his rice. Poor food didn't even stand a chance.

Micheal sighed loudly and snapped his fingers in front of his eyes. Castiel looked up abruptly and fixed his brother with as much anger as he could convey. "Listen Castiel." Michael said, fighting back. "You're going to have to see him eventually. The doctors said if he keeps up the good behavior, they're going to release him in a few months. And then he'll need a place to stay, which means here. With us."

Why? Why was this happening to him? Did the world hate him this much? He'd been doing better, and yet so many bad things just kept happening to him. He should have just stuck with the drugs. At least then he didn't _care_. Now, it was as if tragedy after tragedy just kep striking him.

"Just go visit him, please. It'll be easier to ease into each other's company before you're forced into living together."

"No." Castiel vowed never to see Jimmy again and he planned to keep that. Never forgive, never forget.

"No?" Michael verified incredulously.

"If he comes, I go." It's not that he wanted to make his brother choose. He already knew that Michael didn't have much of a choice here - he was Jimmy's legal guardian and he had to take care of the other, no matter what. Micheal still loved him, anyways.

"Not possible, Castiel." Michael stated. His voice was full of resolve. "James has no way of supporting himself, and neither do you. There is no other option. Don't make this difficult."

But that wasn't true. There was another option, and Castiel did have a way of supporting himself. "I've been offered a place at Richard Roman Enterprises." His jaw clenched. He didn't really want to, but if it was his only escape, he'd take what he could get.

"That's on the other side of the _state_, Castiel." Michael hissed. He was growing impatient with his brother and Castiel almost flinched. Micheal's wrath was never a fun thing to be on the recieving end of. "You'd have to switch schools, and that was even _if_ you made enough money to support yourself."

"I can make it work." Mike looked about to blow a fuse. He'd certainly lost enough brothers, and Castiel didn't want to add himself to the list, not really.

"Castiel, you may be smart in school but sometimes you are so _stupid_!" Micheal had entered the yelling stage. This was not good. "_If you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins. _You have certainly sinned, Castiel, and I have ignored most of it. Between the drugs and your exemption from church. I looked past the adolecent sex because everyone does it these days, but don't think God will be so forgiving. If you do not let this go you may never be granted pardon into Heaven."

Ouch. Talk about brutal. Castiel had never been more at a loss for words, nor had he ever been so humiliated. That was beyond merciless, and struck him right to the core. He wanted to hit Micheal. He wanted to smoke all the cigarettes and marijuana he could find because if he couldn't be saved, he might as well go to Hell with a peaceful state of mind. His blue eyes darkened and he stood up, knocking his chair out from under him. He hadn't even taken more than 2 bites of his lunch and he was still starving, but damn it he wasn't just gonna take this sitting down. "And what do you know, Michael? Your reputation isn't based solely on the halucinations of a schizophrenic psychopath. You weren't betrayed by the person you were closest to. No, you trusted him more than you trusted me and put me into counseling. And that was probably the worst, because it was so grueling and inhumane and if I wasn't broken before, then I damn sure was after hours of mind probing! You can blame the drugs on yourself, because you were so insistent that I be doped up on those that after I was taken off I had to turn to stimulants in order to forget about suicide for a little while. You can blame the church situation on yourself to, because how can I believe in a God after everything I've been through?"

Castiel was breathing heavily and shaking, his shoulders heaving up and down as he tried to regain his thoughts. Michael looked like a deer caught in headlights, his eyes wide and his mouth gaping open. His outburst must have dug deep. Good.

"I didn't know... I can't be like father, Castiel." Something peirced his heart and suddenly he felt like puking. Michael was right. Their father was kind and understanding, and if he'd stuck around Castiel would probably be happy and leading a good, devout life. Mike was controlling and overbearing, and though he tried his hardest he simply would never be a good guardian. He'd failed with Luke and Gabe and Jimmy, and he'd failed with Castiel too.

Fighting down the wave of nausea, Castiel turned sharply and marched out. He slammed his door and ripped out his ipod. Chopin's melodic music drifted through him but he hardly felt calmer. His hand was twitching and though he wasn't addicted anymore, he thought of having a cigarette just out of spite. He'd feel better if he did. Right now he just wanted to cry his eyes out and contemplate his own death.

No, no he didn't. Screw that. He'd been fixing his life up and he still could. He wasn't completely lost just yet.

Instead, Castiel reached into his pockets and pulled out a business card. Dick's secretary would set him up with an internship, huh? Well, he'd be stupid not to take advantage of this exciting opportunity.

* * *

**A/N: **Oh god, all this drama, where is it coming from? This story was supposed to be more fluffy than angsty and now it's just... I LOVE ANGST GUYS.  
Micheal's speech thingy is from Matthew 6:9-15. I dunno man, I googled 'bible on forgiveness'. I am in no way Christian, I have no religious views. I'm sorry if I have offended anyone in any way so far in this story.  
Also, I feel as if I should disclaim again. **I in no way own supernatural or it's characters, they belong to Erik Kripke**. I make no profits from this fanfiction, just satisfy my own perverted picture of the relationships of the characters.  
Also, I've been spelling Michael wrong this whole time. Damn.


	14. Chapter 14

Castiel didn't hear from Dean for 4 days. And even then, it wasn't like he'd gotten the call from his green-eyed dreamboy. It came from Sam, and the only reason he knew to answer the call was because it was from 'Singer Auto Garage'.

He'd spent the 4 days in between moping in his room. It was partially because he'd lost the love of his life, yeah. It was also partially because his twin brother was coming back from the grave to haunt him. And it was mostly because he was selling his soul to a questionable company in order to get away from it all.

As soon as he'd gotten off the phone with Dick Roman's asian secretary, he'd gone straight to the convenience store and bought several packages of cigarettes. In between curling up in his covers and drowning in classical music, Castiel spent his time chain smoking. His room smelled terribly like tobacco and he knew he'd have to wash his sheets lots of times before the smell came out. It didn't bother him that much, but it would sure as hell bother Micheal.

The worst part would be going through the withdrawl again. He was going to quit, because he didn't want to have to pay 18 hundred dollars for silly car repairs that weren't even his fault. Micheal wouldn't break his word about that, regardless of their fight.

His phone had rung obnoxiously loud, and he checked the caller ID. He suspected Gabriel or Lucifer, who had been checking in several times a day to make sure he wasn't cutting his wrists. Castiel wasn't that much of a wuss, and it kind of annoyed him that his brothers thought so. Still, it was nice having some human communication.

He'd seen the name and, remembering that they owed him 2 doors, accepted the call. Some sadistic part of him way deep down hoped it was Dean on the other end of the line, but the other, more prominent part of his brain hoped it wasn't. Thankfully, it was the younger Winchester. Castiel could handle that.

"Cas! Long time no talk!" It had been like, a week. "We got those doors in last night so, whenever you want just bring your car on over!"

Well, the sooner the better. Castiel kind of wanted to be able to drive again without plastic thumping loudly in the wind and the heat getting unbearably high because the air conditioner was ineffective. He told Sam he'd leave right away and dug himself out of bed for a long overdue shower.

He hadn't even encountered Dean on the way in. As soon as he'd entered the lobby, he'd handed the keys to Sam who ran out back and did whatever the heck business he had to. His car was towed out back by an older man as Sam returned.

"It'll be about 2 hours." The scraggly-haired teenager annoucned. "You can head on out and I'll call 'ya, or you can come behind the desk here and watch TV with me." Castiel craned his head and there was, infact, a television hidden behind there. There was also a blonde haired girl, about Sam's age, sipping on a can of coca-cola.

"Nowhere to go, really." Castiel said. Sam smiled brightly at him and held a door open. There was nothing but a small armchair in the corner and a wooden chair at the desk, both of which were occupied by the others, so the dark haired teen took a seat on the floor.

"Hi!" The blonde girl said cheerfully. "I'm Jess." So Sam even dragged his girlfriend to work with him. They really were inseperable. He smiled at her lightly before turning to see what she was watching. The news. "So you and Dean, huh?"

"Jess." Sam warned from his spot at the desk, where he was sorting files. Castiel felt instantly uncomfortable.

"What?" She asked him. "Dean's too pansy to talk to Cas so I'll do it for him." Oh man. He was about to be lectured by a girl younger than him who had probably no more experience in dating than he did, seeing as she was practically attached to Sam. "Okay, so. From what I gather, you guys had a tough night and fought, you don't want to be friends anymore. You're both emotionally scarred and your personalities oppose each other perfectly, and would make a great couple but you're only attracted to one person, which Dean finds unfair, but he doesn't know that the person you're attracted to is him." She paused and mulled over her thoughts while Castiel tried to hide his face in his coat. "Um, yeah. Kind of confusing. Did I miss anything?"

"Nope." Castiel croaked. Well, now that all of his innermost secrets were out in the open...

Jess grinned widely at him. "So here's the deal. We force you 2 into a room to talk it out, and then your forgive each other, feelings are revealed and the magic happens." Oh, he wished it were that easy. Her smile turned sweet and she looked infinately wiser than her age would allow, just for a moment. "He cares about you a lot, you know. He's just trying to accept that the Jimmy he knew is long gone and he has feelings for his best friend's twin brother."

Well, when it was put that way it was kind of understandable. If it was even true. Castiel remained silent and kept his eyes glued on the floor. Jess turned back to the TV, where footage of Richard Roman giving a public speech was being broadcast.

"My uncle Frank says that guy's crazy." Sam said. He must have felt awkward. They were, afterall, talking about the possibility of his older brother being in love with a man. "Says he puts addictive stuff in the food supply so that people want to keep buying more. That why his company's doing so well. And that the man has shady doings out in archeological dig sites all over the world, and that he's looking for something nasty."

"I've got an internship with them in the works." This caught both of the teen's attention. Sam leaned forward slightly in his seat, and Jess twirled her hand in a way that said 'go on'. "They're offering me lodging and a small pay. I have amazing math scores and a penchant for ancient languages, so I'll basically be crunching numbers and translating for anybody who asks for it. Dick's secretary is currently looking into enrolling me at the local school." He smiled. Jess and Sam were practically awestruck. It was an amazing thing, to be sure. "If it falls through, I'll be leaving at the end of the month."

Sam looked like he was about to offer congratulations, but Jess looked worried. "Does Dean know?" She asked suddenly.

Castiel's brow furrowed. Of course not. "This was set up a few days ago. I'd feel like he was stalking me if he did."

Jess looked horrified and practically jumped out of her chair. She grabbed Castiel's arm and started tugging on it. "Well you have to tell him! I just know he won't like it." Castiel wasn't looking forward to talking to the older man. He still had nearly 2 hours while the other fixed his door, and he was planning on using that time to figure out what he had to say. They probably hadn't even gotten the doors out of packaging yet.

Castiel carefully peeled Jess's fingers from off his forearm. "I will. Later." He said. Jess gave him a look and pursed her lips. She gave up, however, and retook her seat on the couch.

The next hour and a half was spent with Sam and Jess in casual conversation. They talked about random things, and occasionally Castiel offered his imput. But for the most part he was silent and Jess eventually flipped over to some disney movie Castiel had never seen. It appeared to be a parody of Rapunzel. A few customers came in asking for wiper fluid or some transmission fix, and Sam promised their cars would be up next.

Eventually he excused himself for a smoke. Sam had told him to go out back because there was propane stacked up in the front. Castiel wasn't really sure the back was any safer, with it's various car parts, but he didn't argue. It was hot outside but Castiel ignored it. He sighed in relief as he shook a cigarette out of the box and pulled a lighter from his coat pocket. He lit up quickly and took a deep drag, needing the nicotine bad after not having it at all that day.

Dean and the same older man from before were working diligently on the finishing touches for his Ford. Perhaps smelling the smoke, Dean looked up and their gaze connected. "You can finish those screws, right?" Dean's voice carried to him. The other man grunted in affirmation, and the next thing Castiel knew the eldest Winchester was moseying on over.

Castiel protested loudly as the first thing Dean did was grab his cigarette and stomp it into the dirt.

"Quitting, remember?" Dean smirked triumphantly, and the shorter man huffed in annoyance. "So Cas, what's new?"

"I started smoking again." Castiel said sarcastically. He was surprised when Dean laughed.

"Seriously though." Dean said, removing his shoe from atop Castiel's drug. The blonde was sweaty and wearing a wifebeater that easily showed off his muscles, and it was very hard for Castiel not to stare. "I found out my dad had a love child on Sunday. My new step brother is named Adam Milligan. He's like... 10 years old."

Alright. If Dean was going to tell him that, Castiel figured he owed him. "My brother is set to move back in with us in 2 months." At Dean's silence, he clarifed, "Jimmy." He only wished it were Gabe or Luke.

"That's... kinda rough." Dean said uncertainly.

Castiel laughed a little in dismay. "You too. What's Adam like?" Anything to hold off the awkward conversation. It was inevitable, but it didn't have to happen just yet.

"He's nice, I guess. Not a fan of my father, but in the end none of us really were. We invited him to some fancy restaurant, but he says he doesn't want to do the 'family bonding' thing."

Castiel smiled knowingly. "I can relate." He wasn't close to Micheal and definately not Jimmy, and he didn't really plan to ever be.

Dean snorted. His hands were twitching in apprehention at his sides and after a breif lull, he responded. "Ellen's going out of town for a few days. Which means Friday, Jo and I are inviting some friends to the Roadhouse for discount drinks. There won't be a lot of people. 15 at most. And uh... Gabe's gonna be there." So his older brother had conspired against him with the enemy. Him and Dean were friends, though, so Castiel guessed it made sense. He tried not to be too mad. "You're welcome to come, if everything's cool between us."

Castiel wasn't sure everything was. They hadn't even talked about it but if Dean didn't want to, why bring it up? Against his better judgement, he agreed to go.

"Awesome! And hey, get off the smokes by then, okay? I don't want you there all needy again."

He'd planned to stop after today anyways. That gave him 2 and a half days to get over the most painful part of withdrawl. He figured he could do it, as thats what it took him last time. He nodded his head in agreement. Dean held out a hand and insistently wiggled his fingers, so reluctantly Castiel handed over his last box. He wanted to go through the last 4 but... he'd do what Dean wanted.

It seemed they were friends again after all.

The older man came over and Dean introduced him as Bobby. They all went over what had been done to his car and Bobby said the bill would be sent to Micheal, and then he handed Castiel the keys and walked him over to his car. Castiel almost teared up - he was that happy.

He said goodbye to Dean and poked his head inside to tell Sam and Jess he was off, and then he slid into the drivers seat of his car. The first thing he did was crank up the air conditioner and bask in the fact that it _worked_. Then he pulled out of the driveway to Singer's. Perhaps it wasn't as nice as the impala, but it was still his car. And it was good to have it back.

* * *

**A/N: **I do all editing for this, so there are probably lots of spelling mistakes. For some reason my checker doesn't work. =/  
But there's the next chapter. I don't know when 15 will be up 'cuz I have work tomorrow and then college orientation Friday, so probably after that. Sorry.  
I love it when Jess talks some sense into our boys.


	15. Chapter 15

Chuck was one of those people who'd jumped on the bandwagon for that creepy new children's show. My Little Pony. He wasn't too obnoxious about it like Becky was (though he had asked Castiel to 'just give the show a chance') but when high, he tended to sing the theme song. Castiel knew how it went just from the other and his girlfriend belting it out while stoned.

_Sharing kindness, it's an easy feat, and magic makes it all complete..._

He'd given Castiel a pony called 'Rarity' because his girlfriend had gotten a second one when they were putting them in Happy Meals, and Chuck already had one also. Which was kind of sad but he'd accepted the gift just to be nice. He still had it sitting with some other clutter on his desk. He didn't know why.

But that was beside the point. The point was, Castiel was really happy to know that Gabriel and Dean weren't the only people he knew at this gathering. There was no way they'd both stay at his side the whole night, and it was good to know that Castiel still had other friends he could turn to so as not to be alone. Becky was there, and Castiel had been around her enough times to grow used to her presence. It definately took getting used to, though.

Chuck explained that he'd met Dean Winchester the last year in english class. Apparently books were not something Dean did and therefore, had been held back a year (though just in that subject). They'd sat next to each other and one day while Chuck was scribbling away on a paper, Dean asked what it was. Chuck explained it was a novel he was working on, and jokingly Dean asked to be put in it. Chuck had made him and his younger brother, Sam, the main characters. After that, they'd talk every day about what kind of monsters Dean had fought last. Last he'd told Dean, his other self had gone to hell. Dean was upset by this, but Chuck came delivering good news tonight.

Apparently, Castiel also made an apperance in Chuck's book. He was an Angel of the Lord (Castiel, trying to seem nonchalant, asked if that idea had come from Jimmy) and had raised Dean from perdition. Castiel offhandedly thought real life was kind of the opposite.

The first half hour Castiel spent with Gabe. His brother had run around the building, making sure he was introduced to everyone. It went something like this: "On a scale of 1 to 'it's not rape if I want it', how bang-able would you rate my little bro?" He was actually surprised by the high scores he got, and one girl named Bela even wrote down her phone number. Not that Castiel was going to call it.

He'd spotted Chuck within the first 10 minutes of walking in, and once Gabriel ran over to joke around with some of the older crowd, Castiel spent the night with his best friend. It had been a while since they'd hanged. The adult patrons had all left already, once they realized that the bar was being taken over by a bunch of rowdy teenagers and young adults for the night. The heavy drinks were half off and the beer was free, because sometimes trucks accidentally delivered an extra keg and there were 2 in the basement that Ellen didn't know about. Sam and his friend Jess were there, and Castiel was surpirsed that Dean actually served him. He was a rather liberating older brother. But then Castiel realized that Gabe was kind of doing the same thing, and they were all underage and there was some serious law breaking going on here. If the police caught them, the bar would probably be shut down and Castiel felt really bad for the unsuspecting Ellen right now.

Chuck and Becky hadn't shown up to this event with weed, claiming that the alcohol was enough and they were both laying low on it anyways. Castiel was kind of touched that they were following his example. He himself had managed to get off the cigarettes, again. The thought fleetingly crossed his mind that he couldn't really be off of them if he kept getting back on after a few days. But he meant to stay off this time. Really.

Ash, the bartender from back at Demonoid, was there and had run over to Castiel for a toast more than once. Apparently he was enjoying drinking tonight rather than serving, but Castiel suspected he drunk on the job anyways. He was also surprised to find Ruby there, the girl about 2 years younger than him that worked at the grocery store. She had asked him to dance so Castiel had given her one song. Apparently she was there per request of Sam.

He'd said a few fleeting 'hello's to Dean every time he went up for more drinks, but other than that they didn't really talk. Most of this crowd was his friends, after all, and he had guests to attend to. Castiel was content catching up with Chuck and conversing with the occasional passer-by. Gabriel was content making the party as loud as possible.

After a few hours, though, Dean sauntered over. Jo was manning the bar and the kegs had turned into a serve-yourself kind of thing, so Dean was free to mingle. He was nursing his own cup of beer with a lazy grin on his face. "Hey there, good looking," He threw a sultry wink in Castiel's direction, "I hope you aren't planning on going home tonight."

There was an awkward moment where everyone in the immediate area shuffled their feet, before Becky exclaimed loudly that Dean and Castiel should fall in love in Chuck's novel, and the author blanched. He quietly excused himself and dragged a reluctant Becky with him. Dean and Castiel were left alone. Becky, in some odd way, had made this less awkward, and for that Castiel was thankful.

Gabriel and Alistair were screaming loudly over a pool table, and Samuel Colt (who had surprisingly not passed out yet) was, once again, turning up the music. Castiel pointed to them and said, "You might want to take care of my brother before he gets you in trouble with the cops." Gabriel, sensing he was being talked about, loudly called for them to join. Dean agreed and Cas followed. He wasn't very good at pool, but he'd do his best.

Castiel's lack of talent was made up for by Dean's phenominal game. Just 10 minutes later, Gabe and Alistair were forking over 20 bucks each. Dean gave one to Castiel, who didn't really feel he deserved it, and yelled, "Who's next?"

They spent the next hour hustling money out of the others. Everybody else was only about as good as Castiel was, so he didn't feel so bad. The only person who offered a challenge was Ash, but in the end he still lost. Castiel and Dean were crowned the Billiard Masters and forced to drink assloads of shots in the others' anger for losing.

It was much past midnight and everyone was thouroughly drunk. Things started to get weird. Bela and an upperclassman named Victor were practically undressing themselves behind the bar. Alistair and Gabe called loudly for Jo to preform a strip tease. Ruby and Sam were doing some weird blood-bonding thing that Dean suggested they try but Castiel refused. Another upperclassman named Tessa was passed out in a booth, and Ash was laughing manically while drawing on her face. Colt was stealing her shoes and knocking off his own before laying down next to her. He was notorious for always being the first one out, but it seemed Tessa had beaten him this time. Chuck and Becky had left a little while ago.

Jess was giggling uncontrolably and trying to convince Castiel that if tomatoes were a fruit, then ketchup was a smoothie. Castiel listened quietly while Jess presented her argument and Dean barked out in laughter. His eyes were glowing with mirth. Eventually he gripped Castiel's forearm tightly and whispered, "Lets go out back."

Castiel knew this was a bad idea and that they shouldn't be doing this _again_, but then discerned he was too drunk to care. He let Dean drag him out a rusty door in the corner and they stepped out into the cool night air. It was drizzling slightly and distant thunder rumbled, but there was a small outcropping by the dumpsters that was covered by roof and Dean dragged the shorter boy over there.

The first thing he did was shove Castiel's back up against the brick wall. Castiel thought that maybe he'd seen this in a movie, perhaps a lot of movies, and almost giggled at how cliche it was before a pair of lips descended on his. Then an arm was snaked under Castiel's shirt and through his dark brown hair. Castiel groaned and melted into the kiss after some hesitation.

Things got rough fast and Castiel was flipped around. His stomach and growing erection were pressed hard against cool brick wall now while Dean was tongueing the back of his neck. He shuddered, thrilled by the kinkiness of this. Dean's hands were everywhere at once. The other was treating him like dirt and it felt surprisingly _good_.

Dean had been grinding his own erection against Castiel's still-clothed ass when they heard the door squeak open to their right. Thankful that they were both still dressed, Dean pushed off quickly and Castiel turned around to fix his shirt.

It was Victor and Bela, both shirtless. Castiel's eyes were unwillingly drawn to Bela's chest and he scoffed. Dean laughed uncomfortably and they sat catching their breaths until Bela started to remove Victor's pants. Then both of the boys bolted inside.

Gabriel caught them running back in and came over. "Lovebirds." He greeted. His older brother threw and arm around Castiel's shoulder. "I think it's time we ditched out." Half the party was gone already and the only people still there were unconcious, having sex, or getting a ride home with someone still there. Castiel nodded and Dean wandered off to pry Sam and Ruby apart. This time, Castiel left with his brother out the front door.

Gabe asked for a recap of what had happened and Castiel, too inebriated to care, told his brother they had made out. The brunette laughed heartily and his amber eyes shined, and Castiel was hit with a wave of affection for his brother. He was always smiling, and he made it his goal to make sure others were happy too. His brother, though sometimes his actions were questionable, was ultimately a good guy. "Gabe?" Castiel muttered quietly. His brother grunted. "I love you."

Gabe smilled and cooed loudly. "Aww! Now if only we could get you to say that to Dean!"

* * *

**AN:/ **Wow guys, been a while much? I've started college now, fun fun.  
So here, have an update. I wrote this a long time ago so I don't know when the next one will be out. I just remembered I'd written this when season 7 arrived on my doorstep and thought I'd post it.  
This has been badly edited, just so you know. There are probably a lot of errors I missed. Supernatural belongs to Erik Kripke, blah blah blah...


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